"You won't believe this," Cy the Cynic told me, "but last night my partner was a guy who thought he was a car."

"Interesting," I said. "What make?"

"Not a Rolls-Royce," Cy said. "He went down at 3NT when he stripped his gears instead of idling his motor."

Cy's partner played dummy's jack on the first heart. When East's queen covered, South ducked.

"He won the next heart," Cy said, "and forced out the ace of diamonds. West led a third heart, and when South won and led a club, West won and took two more hearts."

PATIENCE

It was too late for South to hit his brakes after Trick One, but a little patience would have helped. South must play a low heart from dummy, take the ace and force out a minor-suit ace. When West wins and leads another heart, South loses a finesse with the jack. But since East has no more hearts, South is safe for an overtrick.

"How'd you do last night?" I asked.

"Poorly," said the Cynic. "I couldn't concentrate with those headlights shining in my eyes."

DAILY QUESTION

You hold: S Q 7 3 H 10 9 8 5 2 D A 4 C A 8 5. Your partner opens one diamond, you respond one heart, he bids two clubs and you try 2NT. Partner next bids three diamonds. What do you say?

ANSWER: Your partner's auction suggests six diamonds, four clubs and extra high-card strength. If his values were minimum, he'd have rebid two diamonds. You certainly can't insist on 3NT with such a flimsy spade stopper: Partner may hold 4, A 4, K Q J 9 7 6, K Q 10 2. Bid four diamonds.