Sure, she's in a wheelchair, has been in one, or on crutches, since she can recall.

But don't tell Ethel Whitney she can't do something.

"I never use my disability for anything. I am not disabled, I am handi-able," she says.

'With a don't call us, we'll call you attitude,' she moves on in her life, a single woman, 58, with a job, a son, a sister, a granddaughter, and a smile that knocks you over.

She's sitting in her second floor apartment at the George Washington Carver building on Colman Street, with her two cats, "my babies, Bella and Toby."

"I'm very self sufficient. Very self-sufficient," she says. "I do all my own cleaning. I don't like anyone cooking in my kitchen, that's my domain. My sister comes up and brings food, but I do my own dishes."

She praises her sister Virginia's cooking skills, and praises the goodness of a home-cooked meal in a working woman's life. Ethel works 20 hours a week at the Groton Wal-Mart as a greeter. Virginia plans meals for them around Ethel's schedule.

"We're inseparable," Ethel says, and though they grew up together on a Tolland farm, they are not genetically linked. "We're not blood sisters," Ethel says.

"I was 17 days old and she was a year old when she came into the foster home. We're sisters in every way, shape and form. I've got her back and she's got mine and that's the way it should be," Ethel says. Virginia nods in agreement.

They say their foster parents "were beautiful people" who had three children of their own, plus eight foster children, many with disabilities, Ethel's being the worst.

"I was the most disabled one I guess you would say if you want to call it that, but it never kept me down."

They say their mother always said "there's someone worse off than you. Always."

She went to high school, worked, married, had a son, bought a car that was especially equipped for her. The car became disabled, but she didn't, and she didn't leave her job behind as a result. Found friends willing to drive her and pick her up. Loves them, too.

"I'm blessed," she says, "truly blessed. Some people say if you're rich you've got it all. I've got friends, I've got family, I've got it all. What more is there? When you've got friends you've got peace of mind," she says, barreling back into her blessings.

"I've got my nephews, my beautiful granddaughter, my granddaughter's grandmother, I love her dearly, awesome lady, awesome."

Ethel takes positive to a new level. All the snarky talk-show sarcasm rampant in the world doesn't seem to touch her.

"Everyone welcomes me with open arms," she says.

Walking into the vestibule of the high rise where Whitney lives, a visitor asks the three or four people sitting watching the rain about finding a resident named Ethel.

"Second floor," they say in unison, before Ethel's last name can be verbalized.

Seems there's only one Ethel here, the one with the legendary "good afternoon" voice which resonates from her kitchen table or her doorside job, a sunny concierge, no matter what the location.

"Ethel is an inspiration not only to the residents but to the staff of New London Housing Authority," says Sue Shontell, executive director of the New London House Authority. "Despite severe physical limitations, she is always the first to ask if someone needs help,"

Shontell says Whitney "volunteers to assist staff with food distribution at our on-site food bank," as well as showing an interest in becoming the resident association president.

"I have personally witnessed Ethel's struggles," she says, also witnessing her willingness to help others and go off to work no matter what the weather conditions.

"She is truly one of the reasons I come to work every day. If Ethel can, then I can. If she can give and help, then we can. It is part of our mission and she is the embodiment of that mission," she adds.

Perhaps it is because Ethel doesn't like hearing the words "can't do."

"That's a thing of the mind. There's nothing you can't do if you put your mind to it," Ethel advises.

Whitney says she likes to look nice when she goes off to work, likes to get there early, get settled, find out if there's anything special she should know.

"I love to work. I love to be around people."

Ethel says she is thinking of running for president of her building, and she and Virginia reminisce about when they organized group meals at the high rise.

"I want to get back to doing those dinners. We just feel good doing it," she says.

"Nobody goes hungry around here with Ethel around," says Mike Pitcher, a fellow resident of the building and a member of the New London Housing Authority.

"If we had more people like her in the world, we wouldn't have any trouble. She's fantastic. She's honest. She's forgiving," he says.

Ethel says she came to New London from Groton to live near her sister after her marriage ended.

She's known for reaching out if she discovers someone needs kitchen tools, furniture, or one of her nephews wants to go to the mall, or needs funds for an athletic event.

"She'd give you her last forty dollars," says Jennifer Carrion of New London's housing authority and manager of Whitney's building.

"She's just a warm-hearted person," Carrion says, telling of Whitney's volunteer work at the building where she volunteers with the monthly food pantry.

Carrion says she has become gotten to know Whitney well during the past three years, and describes her as being someone who "gets along with everyone" in the large building.

"She's just always in good spirits," she says.

Whitney admits to moments of sadness and feels at a loss without her car which provided her and her sister with the little excursions which bring them so much joy.

"I'm more paralyzed without my car than I am within my wheelchair. We used to go out for lunch, go to the grocery store. I'm at a standstill until I get back on my feet, but I will," she says. "Oh yes, I don't stay down for long. No, no, nooooooooooooo."

"My philosophy in life is that people are always saying 'woe is me.' Life dealt me this hand. The Lord put me in this position for a reason. Grin and bear it. Get up every morning and do what you can and put on your happy face, help people and go about your business."

Though Ethel didn't ask for help lining up a specially-equipped car, Shontell said she has been looking into various agencies for assistance "but they are so overwhelmed that they are not taking new requests. Ethel is not one to ask for help, so I am." Shontell suggests anyone with suggestions or offers of assistance should contact Jennifer Carrion at 860-443-2851, ext. 227, "so Ethel can maintain her quality of life and independence, which we sometimes take for granted."

"If I can bring a little brightness into someone's life, it makes me feel good," Whitney says. "My positive attitude is one of the positive things I have. If I'm having a bad day, I don't let it show when I go out in public."