When do we determine it may be time to ask your elderly mother or father, husband or wife to relinquish their driver’s license?

When my mother was approaching her advanced years, we decided we wanted her back in Connecticut so she would be closer to us.

Before she came back to Connecticut, we convinced her that driving here wasn’t as simple as it was around her retirement community in Florida. The roads are narrower here, and with her diminished reaction times and driving a large car, we were looking out for her well-being.

With my former mother-in-law, visual problems became apparent when she had an accident turning in front of an oncoming car near our home one holiday. Another time, when road work forced her to take a detour coming home from shopping, she became lost because she hadn’t driven these roads since her eye problems began to materialize and she couldn’t read the street signs.

She had become a danger to others, and was putting herself in danger every time she drove. But she was angry and resistant to giving up her car because she would be giving up her independence.

It took months before we could convince her to sell the car and stop driving.

On reader of my column asked if I could write about this subject, because it affected her family as well. When I met with Kathryn Johnson, she said her background as an occupational health physician included performing examinations to determine the qualifications of bus drivers and truck drivers.

The following are her thoughts:

When I was in college, there were two different driving events that gave me concern and gave me the interest in safe driving. When my grandmother was about 78 years old, she was rear ended at a stop light when it first turned green. Her story was that the young teenager behind her “jumped the gun”; but as a young person, I thought it was more likely that her reaction timing had fallen off with age and that the person behind her anticipated her to move and moved first themselves, expecting a quicker reaction time.

Thankfully, grandma moved in with the family at age 80. At about the same time, my 80-year-old grandfather decided that he could drive from Connecticut to the Philadelphia area for a family wedding. He got there fine but, on his way back from the wedding, he ran into a lot of traffic on the Cross Bronx Expressway and ended up in Long Island as he couldn’t merge to the lane he wanted towards Connecticut. He left the wedding an hour before the rest of the family so as to not have to drive back in the dark and arrived home three hours after all of us had gotten home.

Of course, we were very concerned. These were signs for my parents to have a discussion with their own specific parent about continuing to drive, a very hard thing to do. Unfortunately, I had to have similar discussions with my own parents 25 years later.

As an occupational medicine physician, I was certified to perform examinations that cleared bus drivers and truck drivers to drive based on federal and state medical qualifications. Vision, hearing, neurological status and risk for heart disease are major issues in this clearance.

I also have been asked to perform “fitness for duty” exams on professional drivers who had been witnessed erratic “close calls” behind the wheel. There are specific regulations for these individuals, but not so much with an individual’s driver’s license.

So, when should one stop driving? This is not something most people want to address for themselves, because it is a loss of independence. However, when people start growing older, their vision and reflexes decrease, and as life expectancies increase, it is more likely we all should make a decision to stop driving at some point. Initially, some drivers decide to limit risky situations, such as highway driving, driving in harsh weather or turning left at an intersection.

According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, more than half of all fatal two-vehicle crashes involving drivers 70 and older occurred at intersections, particularly when a left turn is involved. They also found that fatal crashes per mile travel increased at about 70 and peak at age 85 and older. It is recommended that all drivers give up driving by age 85 due to reaction time and vision.

How does one decide that he or she should stop driving? With certain diseases like dementia, Parkinson’s disease, Alzheimer’s disease, diabetes, vision or hearing ailments, stroke or severe arthritis, one should avoid driving. Certain signs are getting confused with the traffic signals or lights, or the inability to perceive distances between the cars when you park.

An accident or scratching another’s car should make one be realistic about one’s own abilities. If family or friends express concerns about your driving, it may be time to take an honest look at your driving ability.

Some physical therapists, occupational therapists and other medical and safety specialists have special training in evaluating patients for the ability to drive safely, and can be consulted for an evaluation to help in this decision. You can look for them under “certified driver rehabilitation specialists.” They can help assess your ability to drive safely.

Once it is decided that driving is no longer safe, friends, family or public transit should be utilized. Some food markets perform home delivery. Most senior centers sponsor “Meals on Wheels” and rides to doctor’s appointments or shopping. “Seniors Helping Seniors” also can be of assistance.

Independent living facilities offer their residents shopping trips so that they do not need cars. All of these are choices we have as we age gracefully. I, for one, do not want my final act in life to be harming other people in a crash at age 90.

Lee Edwards of Niantic has spent more than two decades in the transportation industry. To reach him, email leeaedwards@atlanticbb.net