Old Saybrook — In this beach town, two friends united by many things — careers in nuclear energy, long motorcycle rides, deep-seated faith — are using their skills to address something more taboo.

Next summer, Sinco Steendam, 67, and Budd Hayes, 60, will embark on a 21-day, 7,000-mile tour of the country to raise awareness about opioid addiction — an issue near to them for different reasons.

"The thing is, I lost my son," Steendam said, turning toward Hayes.

"He saved his."

The June 2015 death of Matthew, 34, nearly broke Steendam, a Dominion Energy retiree who owns a motorcycle training company called Behind Bars.

Matthew’s three boys were playing on the trampoline at their Lisbon home when they noticed their dad hadn’t come outside, Steendam said.

“My grandsons went in to ask, ‘Daddy, what’s wrong?’” Steendam said. “They found him passed out on a pillow. And that was it.”

Matthew, the youngest of Steendam's three sons, died from the combined effects of heroin and fentanyl, the state medical examiner ruled.

Since then, Steendam has been wracking his brain, wondering what he could have done differently. He’s convinced he found the answer in Hayes.

When Hayes learned one of his sons was using drugs — and noticed a complete change in his demeanor — Hayes wasted no time in confronting him.

“I had to get him to confess,” Hayes said. “I took him to Haywire Burger (in Westbrook) and I said, ‘I don’t know who you are anymore.’”

“He broke down,” Hayes said. “He started crying and decided right then that he would go to rehab. And that was it.”

His son, who asked not to be named out of fear of losing his job, has been sober for about three years.

“That’s the engaging conversation I should have had with my son,” said Steendam, who said his son was highly intelligent and “understood my jokes.”

“If I had had this confrontation, I believe I could have saved my son’s life.”

Four corners

During the official USA Four Corners Tour next year, Steendam and Hayes are hoping for a snowball effect: If they can start a conversation in each town they visit, then action will follow and lives could be saved.

They are meticulously planning their stops and reaching out to folks in each place. The goal is to host as many awareness-raising talks as possible, whether at town halls, nonprofits, clinics, hotel lobbies or Harley-Davidson dealerships. They also have enlisted a team of close friends and experts to help determine the major goals they should have for the trip, which may include up to six participants.

When they first conceived the idea, Steendam and Hayes had no idea how much effort it would take. They had planned to ride this summer but have realized that was overly ambitious.

“It’s not just going to be a couple guys jetting around the country,” Hayes said. “We want to do it right.”

Steendam and Hayes think they first crossed paths nearly three decades ago, likely through Dominion. But they only became close within the past 14 months.

In Hayes’ dining room recently, Steendam and Hayes were like old friends, cracking jokes about their weekly group rides along the shoreline — “They love me even though I don’t ride a Harley,” Steendam said — crying about the effect addiction has had on their families, then making fun of themselves for being “goofy nuclear nerds.”

“We have so many things in common,” Steendam said. “I don’t know why we never clicked sooner.”

Steendam and Hayes' journey will start in Madawaska, Maine, and hit Key West, Fla., and San Ysidro, Calif., before finishing in Blaine, Wash.

They’ll average 400 miles a day, not counting travel to the first corner or home from the last.

“It’s a little on the nuts side,” Steendam said of the trip, laughing. “That’s why we have to have a clear plan of all our stops along the way.”

Beyond riding for his son, Steendam also is riding as a tribute to his late friend Paul Colwell, a former prisoner who started a construction company, got married and logged 18 years of sobriety only to end up with opioid medications after an issue with his intestines. He died of addiction-related complications in 2014 at the age of 46.

“People don’t like to talk about it,” Hayes said. “Everyone has their nice picket fence they can hide behind. No one wants to admit there’s a problem in their household — especially with drugs."

“But that’s a big part of the problem,” he said. “If we can’t have dialogue about this, we’re closing down pathways to helping others.”

l.boyle@theday.com

For more information or to donate

Sinco Steendam and Budd Hayes estimate it will cost about $10,000 in meals, gas, tolls and lodging for each person who completes the nearly 10,000-mile trip.

They’re searching for grant money but also asking the public for support. Those who are interested in donating or learning more can reach Eastgate Outreach Inc., Steendam’s nonprofit, at eastgateoutreachinc@gmail.com.

Sponsors who donate more than $50 can elect to receive a T-shirt. All donations made to Eastgate Outreach are tax-deductible. Visit eastgateoutreach.com to donate.