From the time Bradley Ellison was about 6 months old, he was cared for by his grandmother and had to go without many things.

Sometimes, he would run away. When he was 7 or 8 years old, he noticed the boy next door was “a foster kid” with the state department of children and families and that he was getting his needs met. Bradley asked his grandmother if he could be placed in foster care. Eventually, she agreed.

It was not an easy road, though, as he went through seven foster homes searching for the right fit. Describing these experiences during a telephone interview as “hard and scary,” because he didn’t know these people; some people didn’t treat him “right” and he didn’t like their parenting approach.

Two years ago, DCF referred Bradley to Waterford Country School Foster Care’s therapeutic program and he was placed with a new foster family. He was also assigned WCS Foster Coordinator Tim Kastrup, who he said helped him through difficult times emotionally and mentally.

Bradley was close to being adopted last year when a family member became sick and plans changed. It was during this time that he was having respite stays at Debbra Ellison’s home in New London. Soon after, she decided to adopt him, and he took her last name. The official adoption day was Nov. 19, 2021.

These days, he said they have fun doing many activities together, including going to the park, fishing, riding bikes and playing Monopoly “except she hogs all the places.”

Bradley still has challenging times when he hears or sees something that reminds him of a trauma from his past.

When these “triggers” occur, Debbra said during a telephone interview, she recognizes it “and sometimes I just have to give him space to work it out. He kind of removes himself if it’s too much. Sometimes we just have to talk about things.”

Bradley’s future goals include “getting a car,” becoming a carpenter, artist, fisherman and millionaire. He said he also wants “to be able to be with” his new school friends, because they are important to him and “they’ve helped me go through a lot.”

Describing Bradley, now 12, as “a very bright little boy,” Debbra said, “He is the most amazing kid that I’ve ever met. He loves me. I love him.”

She said she has “never seen anybody make something out of nothing,” thanks to his love of working with wood.

Debbra believes it’s important to find activities for foster children that they like, such as sports or pottery to “keep them busy.”

This artist and college-educated teacher became a WCS foster parent in 2017 after recovering from a 2013 injury at her part-time job, which required her to retire from a full-time job she loved as family advisor with SKIP (Sick Kids [Need] Involved People) of New York.

After moving back to New London, she said she “felt kind of lonely” in her big, six-bedroom house — even though her grown son and daughter visit occasionally. That’s when she thought maybe she “could do something to help other kids.”

So far, Debbra has fostered a 17-year-old girl who stayed for 11 months, a 13-year-old girl who was with her for 18 months (during which time she took her to Walt Disney World Resort in Florida) and another who stayed for just two weeks.

Debbra said she is still open to fostering children 10 years of age or older. She encourages other people to become foster parents.

“I think if they have it in their heart to help somebody, I think it would be for them,” she said, even though WSC therapeutic foster children come with “real problems and you have to get them to all their therapies,” and others “have medical conditions.”

WCS’s Foster Care’s 24/7 “support is amazing,” she said. “I’ve picked up the phone and they would get back to me in less than 10 minutes.”

Also, even though she adopted Bradley, she said she still works with WCS Family Support Worker Sarah Kellam.

Montville woman

Melinda Venett of Montville has fostered at least 20 children over a seven-year period. Some stayed for a short time before being adopted by a family; another stayed until he aged out of the system. In addition to having her own children, including two adult sons (that no longer live at home), a 16-year-old boy and a 4-year-old daughter, the New London licensed professional counselor has adopted a 14-year-old girl and a 15-year-old boy and is fostering a 14-year-old boy, Avery, through WCS.

She said she first became a foster parent when she took in her son’s four cousins during “an emergency removal” for one year, while also raising three of her own children. Because she has mostly boys in her home, she fosters boys 12 years and up.

Helping foster children who have been neglected and giving them the attention they need has a positive impact on them, Venett said. “It makes me want to continue doing what I do, because I’m seeing changes.”

“I want to take in kids that don’t have a house to go to and give them that family, but I also like the aspect of having them go back to their family.”

She said she encourages families to work on what they need to get done to get their kid back.

Reuniting families “is one of the best feelings,” said Venett, which is also what she does in her private practice.

For someone who is hesitant about taking in a foster child, Melinda said, “I would say you’re not by yourself” and that foster parents make connections with WCS workers and families during training sessions and activities when they share stories/tips, which create a great support system. Plus, their supportive staff is always available and on call.

Jan Tormay, a longtime Norwich resident, now lives in Westerly.