Most people enjoy music — albeit of many different styles. Millions routinely participate enthusiastically at karaoke bars, sing lustily along to the radio, or at least hum in sudsy good cheer whilst bathing.

Why, then, when we don’t want to “hear” any more in a whimsical social setting, do we rely on the same wacky gambit over and over? To wit, we stick our fingers in our ears to symbolize blocking-out sound and, to further suggest no outside aural stimuli will be allowed, we chant in a monotone, “La la la la la la la.”

Our friends then chortle in the hilarity of it all.

But: wouldn’t it be more fun if, instead of “La la la la la la,” we broke into an unpredictable melody or recitation? Because, by this point, as soon as the conversation turns to something not appealing — vivisection or, worse, the idea of giving Donald Trump a shampoo — and someone starts to stick fingers in ears, we KNOW what’s coming. Wouldn’t it be better to ... ? 

1. Vocalize the guitar riff to Led Zeppelin’s “Immigrant Song” four times and then break into Robert Plant’s pre-“I come from the land of the ice and snow” wail?

2. Sing all four minutes of Purcell’s gorgeously sad aria “When I Am Laid in Earth” from Dido and Aeneas?*

3. Do the theme from “Lucky Charms” TV ads — complete with the little leprechaun dance (although there are legitimate concerns about a Meniere’s Disease-style lack of equilibrium whilst trying a jig with your ears plugged up. Maybe work on this at home first.)?

4. Throw down Gil Scott-Heron’s “Whitey On the Moon” and show those youngsters the genuine roots of hip-hop?

5. Instead of the “finger in the ear” construct, literally slaw your own ears from your skull with a trident-pronged barbecue fork. This is guaranteed to halt what was presumably a useless discussion, although it’s probably a one-time-only-ploy.

*Works equally well whether you are a classically trained opera singer — in which case it’s truly a conversation-stopper — or if you have a voice like Kris Kristofferson — in which case the OTHER folks then plug their ears and incant “La la la la la la.