Recently, my wife Eileen came up with a business idea that beautifully melded two of our favorite things to do: open a combination dog park/tavern. That way, hounds could romp playfully while we served drinks and salty bar snacks to pet owners while, of course, partaking ourselves of drinks and salty bar snacks.

When informed of this sure-thing money-maker, our good pal, the radio host Lee Elci, came up with the perfect name: Hair of the Dog. Very clever, particularly since Elci — while a dog-lover of renown — hardly drinks. I’m surprised he even knows what “hair of the dog” is. (Idea for a future Rick’s List: My five worst hangovers. I’m talkin’ to YOU, Laredo, Texas, with your three-day tequila- and Tres Equis-fueled migraine!)*

Back to Eileen’s business plan. It turns out there’s already a bar/dog park out there in one of those Milwaukee or Utah places. Doesn’t mean it can’t work here, but it sort of took the wind out of our entrepreneurial sails (that and the fact that we don’t have any money to buy a snow-blower, much less start a corporation).

However, it DID get me thinking about the idea of juxtaposing two otherwise disparate business pursuits in one convenient location. As such, I expect those of you out there with excess capital to jump on one or more of these Fortune 500-guaranteed concepts: 

1. Children’s daycare center/factory where they make monster likenesses for wax museums

2. Nudist camp/CDC infectious disease quarantine facility

3. Crematorium/beef jerky smokehouse

4. Satanic church/Ted Cruz campaign headquarters

*RIP, Tres Equis. You were a champion-class lager. I hope I single-handedly didn’t wipe out the supply.