After a decades-long study involving thousands of volunteers who participated in a closely monitored series of double-blind experiments, a team of medical, meteorological and biological researchers has concluded that wearing extra layers of clothing when the outside temperature plunges appears to ward off shivering, numbness and other unwanted effects of cold-weather exposure.

Moreover, scientists also found that moving indoors after prolonged periods in frigid conditions offers additional relief, according to a report published in The International Journal of Stupid Advice that Should be Painfully Obvious to Anybody with More Than a Double-Digit IQ.

All right, I made up all that stuff about scientific research, but aren't you just sick to death of idiotically obvious admonitions, particularly with regard to outdoor activity?

Such warnings aren't confined to winter months. Summer heat waves prompt similarly fatuous exhortations: Avoid direct sunlight, drink plenty of fluids, and my favorite, wear lightweight clothing. Really? I always thought when the temperature soared you were supposed to put on insulated long underwear and a mountaineering parka.

Look, most of us who work and play outside 12 months of the year may not know enough to come in out of the rain (or snow or scorching heat) but we do understand that sometimes you have to put on a raincoat, sip from a water bottle or hunker down when conditions get really unpleasant.

And for those who fail to adhere to simple, common sense precautions in dealing with challenging situations, nature has an efficient response mechanism. It's called natural selection.

Wait — that was another joke. But the unfunny truth is that our increasingly coddling nanny culture often treats us like infants or imbeciles.

To be sure there is no shortage of infantile/imbecilic behavior — just watch any "Jackass" movie or go online to review the Darwin Awards.

The Darwin citations "commemorate individuals who protect our gene pool by making the ultimate sacrifice of their own lives: by eliminating themselves in an extraordinarily idiotic manner, thereby improving our species' chance of long-term survival." Recent recipients include a Russian welder who noticed how neatly a fire extinguisher fit into a howitzer; a visitor to Yellowstone National Park who decided a geyser would be a perfect substitute for a hot tub; and two guys in Kenya who posed for selfies with a rampaging bull elephant.

Actually, it's unlikely any warning would deter these types of people. Let's face it, some people would benefit from a label stamped on the bottom of a Coke bottle: "Open other end." But do we really need signs at scenic overlooks warning us not to get too close to the edge?

Getting back to weather warnings, in case you haven't noticed it's really cold outside, so make sure you bundle up before you leave the house, and dress in layers.

Don't go skating on thin ice. Don't operate a generator indoors. Take off your crampons before walking on a parquet floor. Don't wear sandals when snowshoeing or cross-country skiing. Remove your skis while driving. Don't stick your ski pole into an electrical outlet. And don't jump off the roof into a snowdrift without making sure there isn't a pitchfork buried beneath the surface.

This message has been brought to you by The Great Outdoors, which assumes no liability and warns anyone who ventures into the open air they risk frostbite, frost heaves, Raynaud's Syndrome, Reynard the Fox Syndrome, hypothermia, hypertension, hypochondria, acid reflux, acid flashback, chillblains, Mad Cow Disease, Piqued Cow Disease, Moderately Annoyed Cow Disease, panic attack, somewhat concerned attack, trench foot, athlete's foot, hoof-in-mouth disease, foot-in-mouth disease, neuritis, neuralgia, dermatitis, pachydermatitis, lumbar plexopathy, lumber plexopathy, carpal tunnel syndrome, Holland Tunnel Syndrome, chapped lips and lipped chaps.

Stay warm, and take heart: Only 11 more weeks until spring!