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    Advice Columns
    Tuesday, May 14, 2024

    Mom wonders how to deal with children’s sexual play

    DEAR ABBY: Last weekend some family members were at my mom's house for a meal. My 6-year-old son and my cousin's 4-year-old daughter were playing in the room my mom had set up for the grandkids.

    When I went to check on them, I noticed the bathroom door was closed, so I knocked. My son answered, sounding rather panicked. I asked if "Jenny" was in there with him. He said no, then opened the door, but he looked scared, as if he knew he had done something wrong, and glanced nervously at the closed shower curtain.

    Sure enough, there was Jenny, standing in the tub with her bathing suit around her ankles trying to get it back on. I told her to put her clothes on and took my son outside to speak with him. "Rory" admitted they were showing each other their private parts and had touched and rubbed them. I asked him why and where he learned how to do that, and he implied it was his idea!

    Abby, he has never seen any adult movies, magazines, love scenes, or caught me or anyone else in the act. Why on earth would this be on his mind at such a young age? Do you think he needs counseling?

    - Worried mom in California

    DEAR WORRIED MOM: No. Playing doctor is a game children have played ever since curiosity was born. I think you need to talk to your child's pediatrician and ask if this behavior is normal at this age.

    DEAR ABBY: I have had very few female friends in my life. I have a hard time relating to other women. My fiance doesn't approve of me having close friendships with other men.

    I recently met a lesbian couple whose company I enjoy. My fiance doesn't like us being friends because "they are trying to turn me gay." Abby, this is ridiculous. I have never been attracted to women, and these ladies have never brought up the possibility that I may be lesbian, as they know I am straight.

    How can I make my fiance come to terms with our friendship? I'm thinking of calling off the engagement.

    - Straight girl in the South

    DEAR STRAIGHT GIRL: Has it become clear to you yet how insecure and controlling your fiance appears to be? Straight people are not "turned gay" because they have lesbian or gay friends. You can talk at him until the cows come home, but unless he is willing/able to overcome his bias, he won't believe you.

    This is my long-winded way of advising you to find a more open-minded, secure man to marry because it doesn't take a crystal ball to predict that the one you're engaged to will eventually make you feel isolated, trapped and unhappy.

    DEAR ABBY: Regarding the gent from Texas who likes to wear blue nail polish, there exists a famous fresco dating from 1500 B.C. or earlier from the palace of Knossos. The fresco was dubbed "The Prince" by British archaeologists and depicts a long-haired male stripped to the waist wearing blue fingernail polish and blue toenail polish. The original now resides in the Heraklion Archeological Museum in Knossos on the island of Crete. Any good art history book will have a reproduction of this well-known work of art.

    - Ron F. in Richmond, Va.

    DEAR RON: Thanks for the heads up, and for confirming that fashion trends are cyclical. Sooner or later, what seems passe today is certain to come around again.

    Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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