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    Advice Columns
    Saturday, May 04, 2024

    Friend drafted as photographer gets harsh review from bride

    DEAR ABBY: Recently, my husband was asked to be the best man at his friend’s wedding. The happy couple did not have the financial means to hire a photographer, so I was asked to take pictures of the ceremony and reception.

    I’m not a professional photographer, and the bride knows that. I gladly photographed the nuptials on the couple’s big day. Of course, I charged them nothing for doing it.

    I am now on the receiving end of insulting comments regarding the photos I took. When the bride rudely voiced her displeasure, I was taken aback. I did nothing less than my very best to accommodate her, and I have received nothing but ingratitude and disrespect for my efforts.

    I believe in keeping commitments I have made. I intend to complete the edits of the original photos and create a wedding album as I promised. However, how do I tactfully address the situation with the bride if she “reminds” me again of my lack of professional photography skills?

    — Sad newbie photographer

    DEAR PHOTOGRAPHER: Alas, it seems that no good deed goes unpunished. The next time the bride “reminds” you, all you have to do is “suggest” that for the next happy occasion she spend some money and hire a professional instead of hitting up a friend for a freebie and then complaining about the result. 

    DEAR ABBY: I have a friend, “Riley,” who is the sweetest woman I know. She’s in her mid-20s and has a stable job, but I’m afraid she is setting herself up. She rescues animals that are terminal or nearly so. She’s great with them and should become a veterinarian. A few she has brought back to health, but others just can’t be saved.

    My concern is that when Riley loses one, she breaks down. She cries for hours on end, but the minute she gets a call, she willingly takes in another one.

    She’s like a sister to me, and I respect and admire her determination to care for these creatures and give them love when no one else will. How can I nicely say to her that I think she shouldn’t accept any more rescues because she will only continue to get more depressed?

    — Concerned friend in Georgia

    DEAR CONCERNED: There is no nice way to say that to your friend. What you CAN say is that you are concerned about her because of the depression she experiences when she can’t save one of her animals. For an animal lover, the loss of a pet is painful and personal, and her reaction isn’t unusual.

    DEAR ABBY: I am hoping you can clear this up. A few weeks ago, my boyfriend and I had some of his family members over for a visit. It was very casual, as usual, more like a Sunday afternoon drop-in. I came out of our room barefoot, because I usually walk around that way in the house. I was scolded by his grandmother and told I was rude to walk around barefoot when there is company. Was she right?

    — Barefoot contessa

    DEAR BAREFOOT: No. She was out of line to criticize you. If people choose to go shoeless in their own home, it’s really nobody else’s business.

    Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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