My curiosity got the best of me. What was he reading? Peering over my dad’s shoulder, the title read “Beautiful Brains.”

He seemed grossly intent on the article in his National Geographic magazine. Later I discovered it was on the teenage brain. And with two teens around, who could blame him!

Life is not easy for us teens.

We know that, at times, our behavior can be ... questionable. This much too often leads our parents into asking (read: screaming) “What the &%$*# are you doing?”

Why do we act the way we do?

It’s no secret that teens can do some pretty crazy things. Our lack of common sense is blamed on the frontal lobes, which are in charge of planning and judgment; of course, they are the last region to develop.

Rising levels of dopamine, a feel-good chemical, is one cause of our love for thrill and excitement. We get a positive response that makes us want to do it again. And again. And again. Even though we know that there is a consequence, such as with cow-tipping.

My “friend” and a few of his friends went into the neighborhood farm at night and dared each other to knock over cows — cows sleep standing up — which, of course, no one was able to do. They dared each other to knock them over, but no one could topple the slumbering creatures. They would fly off, often into cow dung.

Obviously, it’s not very realistic to knock a 2,000-pound cow over. But teenage brains are still growing. Our brains mature at age 25, giving us time to learn from our mistakes and shortcomings. In other words, our brains take longer to develop than you’d think.

Let’s face it: When it comes to life in general, parents and teens see different sides of the same coin. With all the ups and downs we deal with, it is no wonder why our relationship with our parents can be a bit of a mess. It’s no surprise that teens have more disagreements with their parents than they’d like to admit.

Traits that we specialize in, like riskiness or impulsivity, irritate our mom or dad, and are thought to define the teenage years.

One risky behavior involved another 14-year-old “friend” and his father’s car.

My friend had been working on the family car for years and had a general understanding of how to work it. His parents even let him drive it in the yard. Well, he took it for a test run while they were out. As he drove by his friends’ houses, he invited them to hang on the bumper while riding their skateboards.

And when my friend returned home ... let’s just say the car wasn’t in pristine condition.

Nothing feels better than hanging out with friends as a teen. And, apparently, research agrees.

Relationships a big deal

As teenagers, relationships with friends are growing more and more important - in some ways even more important than the ones we have with family.

Whenever we get together with friends, however, there is an increase in exploration and excitement seeking, and an increase in riskier behavior. Our brains are keenly influenced by friends, which can lead to some bad decisions, like ding-dong-ditch, but with a special twist.

Another “friend” and a few of his friends got a noise-making firecracker, the one activated by pulling two strings on each side. They would rig it to go off when the front door opened. The first (and last) time they did it, an elderly couple opened the door, setting off the loud snap that practically gave the husband a heart attack.

They never did that again.

Interestingly, some of the common wisdom about teens and reckless behavior has not been borne out by research. As science writer David Dobbs reported in National Geographic, “Researchers have actually found that teens don’t think they’re invincible. They know that they can die. And they also don’t underestimate risk. What they do is they overestimate risk less than adults do.”

Teens know we’re taking risks, and we know that there can be consequences. We’re just having too much fun to care!

Lack of experience and a desire to experience new things is normal teen behavior. After all, we’re young and prone to make mistakes. That’s how we learn to be adults.

We need parents to be our frontal lobes. We need them to guide us with a light but steady hand.

Annoying, acting up and aggravating prepare us for adulthood. Whatever mistakes we make, we learn from, and perhaps others learn from our antics too... like when my “friend” lit a brown paper bag on fire and put it on the doorstep of a neighbor he didn’t like. He rang the doorbell a few times and hid. Out came the old man.

Of course, after seeing the burning bag on his doorstep, he would stomp on it feverishly to put out the flames. You could only imagine what he put in that bag.

Maria Proulx of Ledyard attends St. Bernard School in Montville.