Communication these days is a bone of contention with some. In many ways we are less connected to each other in the physical sense. We use electronic devices to surf the internet, young people sit side by side and look at the tiny screen on their phones rather than engage in a conversation with each other, and texting is the death of some while driving a car.

But on the other side of the coin, using technology to connect with long lost relatives has brought me much joy. My mother and her cousins were close when they were younger, but the distance and lack of transportation available made visiting a rare occurrence. Emailing and finding that family connection with our genealogy search has brought them together again. We have also met with previously unknown cousins to share our records on different branches of our tree. We have found several Civil War grandfathers (one killed in battle), shared pictures of a great aunt who worked in a circus and postcards sent to a son from his mother over 100 years ago. I have sent old letters written to relatives on the East Coast back to the descendants of the original writer on the West Coast. It makes the world seem smaller and our connections to each other greater.

Recently we gathered for a funeral and shared family stories and reminisced over old pictures, trying to identify our ancestors. Speaking with the eldest family members is the easiest way to start a family tree. Old memories come back when the conversation is about the good old days. My first cousins once removed and my second cousins have rekindled family traditions - swapping recipes we grew up with, sharing family secrets, and copying pictures for each other's scrap books.

The difference between a second cousin and a first cousin once or twice removed is easy to explain. First cousins share a grandparent, second cousins share a great-grandparent, and third cousins share a great-great-grandparent. "Removed" refers to the number of generations separating the cousins themselves. A first cousin once removed is the child or parent of a first cousin. A second cousin once removed is the child or parent of a second cousin, and a first cousin twice removed is the grandchild or grandparent of a first cousin. That still confuses me sometimes!

Several free websites are available to connect with your unknown cousins.

Distantcousin.com has a selection of records and a general search engine that has links to other sites, although some require payment.

Genweb is one site that is available worldwide. Usgenweb.org is available by state and worldgenweb.org has connections to many countries hosted by rootsweb.com.

Connecticut-townclerks-records.com has land and some vital records. Not all towns are listed and some only provide recent records. The Town of South Windsor, where many of my family resided in the 1800s, has records beginning in 1845. I found land transactions between relatives-mother to son, father to son-in-law, and brother to brother. These records can be the extra verification needed to prove a connection to family members. You do have to sign in as a guest for free to search the site. If you find a document you want to copy, it does require a payment, but it's more convenient than driving to and searching records at the town hall.

Message boards are very useful for connecting with others researching the same family. Message boards at familysearch.org, rootsweb.com, ancestry.com, and genforum.com are free to search. First search the messages to see if there is already someone looking for the same person. Be specific about the information you know and what you are looking for and include contact information.

Happy hunting!

SUZANNE MATTESON IS A PROFESSIONAL COOK BY DAY AND AN AMATEUR GENEALOGIST BY NIGHT. EMAIL HER AT FAMILYQUESTS@GMAIL.COM.