Norwich — When Mayor Deberey Hinchey was running for mayor, she was told she “wasn't aggressive enough,” “wasn't loud enough” and even “wasn't big enough.”

When Lt. Gov. Nancy Wyman told political colleagues years ago that she wanted to run for state comptroller, some said “you mean secretary of the state.”

And when she was campaigning with fellow Democrat Miles Rappaport, who was the actual candidate for secretary of the state, people often mixed up their positions.

About 30 women in leadership roles in politics and business gathered Friday for the "Women in Leadership: Harnessing your Leadership Prowess” at the Wauregan Ballroom in Norwich.

Speakers stressed the need to push girls into science and technology careers, finance and business positions, but they also weren't shy about marveling over Wyman's bright orange shoes with her signature 5-inch heels and enjoying the blue Champagne — Blanc de Bleu by Brut — donated to the event by Old Tymes Restaurant.

“I don't know if it's scientifically proven, but women have more fun.” said Marcia Marien, an accountant with the nationwide firm, O'Connor Davies.

Marien was recently named to the American Institute of CPAs Auditing Standards Board.

Marien said women should build a “personal brand” in their chosen fields, making sure others know of their accomplishments and abilities.

“It's not what you know or who you know, it's who knows you,” Marien said.

Speakers at Friday's forum said it's not just outside pressures that hold women back, it could be their own lack of self-confidence.

Hinchey said she was at first shy about asking for money to support her mayoral campaign.

It took a male political consultant sitting beside her at the kitchen table pushing her to make each call and progressively ask for more money with a stronger voice of confidence that she believed in her own campaign.

Wyman said it's time to reverse the myth that math and science are not for girls.

“We have to keep breaking the barriers,” Wyman said. “We have to keep pushing if we want pay equity. Science, technology, engineering, math. STEM. … We have to push young girls into these fields if we want pay equity.”

Eileen Williams, president of Photizo Consulting Inc., of North Stonington, said women also need to be assertive in the job market.

She told of a highly qualified woman applying for a top-level position who asked for a salary well below what the position could have warranted. She didn't get the job, and asked the man who interviewed her why.

The woman, he said, undervalued herself, and perhaps didn't consider herself qualified for the position.

Williams' firm does consulting on project management and business analysis in the information technology field.

She said there continues to be a shortage of women in the field and said women don't have to be computer programmers to get started in project management and business analysis.

Speakers and audience members also touched on the traditional conflicts women often face, juggling careers and families.

Marien said she used her roles as a mom — even as assistant cross country coach — to build both her resume and her status in the community.

“I'm a mom,” she said. “I wanted accommodations because I was a mom, not a pass."

c.bessette@theday.com

Twitter: @Bessettetheday