With rolling hills, dense woods, fields and a gently flowing stream, the 75-acre Merritt Family Forest in Groton is a haven from the residential, commercial and industrial sprawl that has spread across so much of the land.

In fact the property on Fort Hill would have become a 79-house subdivision if the Groton Open Space Association (GOSA), a dedicated and determined land-conservation organization, hadn't fought various development proposals for seven years, and then raised public and private funds to buy it.

But the association stepped on a hornets' nest late last year when it unilaterally decided to ban horses, dogs and bicycles from the network of trails traversing the parcel. Angry equestrians, pet owners and cyclists are still buzzing, and last week they swarmed the Town Planning Commission with a petition signed by 98 people upset by the restrictions.

"They're shooting themselves in the foot," says Lola Liepold, whose property on Fishtown Lane in Mystic abuts the Merritt Family Forest. "There should be plenty of room for everybody."

On the other side of the fence is Joan Smith, GOSA's president pro tem, who accuses town planners of making a "grab for control of open space."

While flaring tempers haven't quite reached Hatfield vs. McCoy levels, there are plenty of hurt feelings and we're sorry to see one-time friends and allies turning against one another.

The sad irony is that GOSA, which has done so much good in the name of land conservation - its members helped spearhead the preservation of such treasured landmarks as Haley Farm State Park and Bluff Point Coastal Reserve - now finds itself at loggerheads with some of its most loyal supporters.

"I love GOSA. GOSA has done incredible work for this community," says Deborah Finco-Kent. "It's a shame it's come to this."

Mrs. Finco-Kent and her husband, Brian Kent, a landscape architect who helped design the town's trail network, share a half-mile border with the Merritt Family Forest. She operates a horse-rescue organization called Beech Brook Farm and had occasionally ridden through the GOSA land on her way to Haley Farm and Bluff Point.

GOSA has expressed fears that Mrs. Finco-Kent's operation, which includes boarding horses, will expand into a kind of dude ranch that would intrude onto the Merritt property.

"That's just not true," Mrs. Finco-Kent says, adding that at best her horses would cross onto the Merritt property a couple of times a week. Mrs. Finco-Kent says she is upset that she is being singled out when other abutting property owners also have ridden their horses through the Merritt land. In addition the Connecticut Horse Council has joined the fight to keep the trails open for equestrians.

Mrs. Smith says GOSA decided to prohibit horses, dogs and bicycles "to promote safety, to protect the land and wildlife and to prevent conflicts among users." She adds, "The land is fully open to hikers and joggers."

GOSA also has been at war with the town planning department, claiming it too often promotes development over conservation.

Matthew J. Davis, Groton's manager of planning services, bristles at the accusation and charges GOSA misrepresented its intentions when it applied for a $650,000 state Department of Environmental Protection grant that helped offset the $1 million purchase price of the Merritt property.

"They got points (over other applications) because they supported multi-use trails" and now have reneged on that promise, Mr. Davis grumbles.

James Furlong, a GOSA spokesman, concedes GOSA "talked about the possibility of horses" in its grant but later concluded, "Big animals on narrow trails, mixing with walkers and joggers and mountain-bikers are just too dangerous."

With so many accusations and counter-retorts hurled back and forth it's difficult to say exactly who, if anybody, is standing on higher ground, but one point is abundantly clear: Neither side has sat down, face-to-face, in an attempt to resolve the dispute. We urge such a summit.

GOSA may decide to compromise by allowing horses, dogs and bikes to travel on some of the wider, less-fragile Merritt property trails; multi-use advocates may agree to let GOSA complete its flora and fauna survey before pressing their case to allow different groups to use the trails.

In his poem "Mending Wall," Robert Frost cites an old proverb, "Good fences make good neighbors," in implying such barriers serve not just to block out foes but to define a position both sides mutually respect.

With this understanding gates can occasionally open - which is what should happen at Merritt Family Forest.