And so once again, the narrative sinks into the morass of rhetoric, shrouding the original message and further plunging the dagger into the concept of civil discourse.

Remember the original message: Former NFL quarterback Colin Kaepernick went to one knee during the Star Spangled Banner about year ago now to protest police brutality against African-Americans. It was — and remains — a necessary conversation for all of us.

Kaepernick, however, chose the entirely wrong method. His choice to show disrespect to the American flag is too inflammatory to make any subsequent conversation meaningful. Kaepernick, in some outposts, has been lauded for provoking dialogue. Au contraire. He has fueled this country's craft of shouting damnation at one another, practicing (hollering?) obstruction over compromise.

Not productive.

Because grandstanding is not the answer.

Bet Kaepernick never thought he had so much in common with our president, the nation's preeminent grandstander, whose consistent choice to insinuate, implicate and insist sinks us into a land of deeper confusion.

Mr. Kaepernick's grandstanding shifted the very noble point of raising awareness for the plight of African-Americans into a referendum on patriotism.

Mr. President's grandstanding turned a modest number of NFL kneelers (six) last week into around 200 on Sunday, again inspiring harangues of patriotism instead of the original point of the kneeling.

Memo to Mr. Kaepernick: You might take your cues from other athletes and actually do something — that old thing — to improve relations with police officers.

Take, for example, DeMarcus Cousins, the basketball player for the New Orleans Pelicans. He went home to Mobile, Ala. and coordinated a basketball camp, panel discussion and ensuing block party, "Break The Silence, Build The Trust: A Conversation Between Police and Community Relationships."

And so in the gym at LeFlore High School that day, Every Kinda People, as Robert Palmer once sang, listened to each other. Talked to each other. People who might never do so otherwise.

This is called using the power of celebrity to bring people together and talk about their differences and outlooks. Civil exchange. And if but one person left enlightened, Cousins could declare victory.

This is how it begins.

One city at a time.

One mind at a time.

Heck, Mr. Kaepernick could have looked right here in New London, where interim police chief Peter Reichard and captain Todd Bergeson have lunch occasionally with the kids in school. It inspired school-wide games of basketball and dodgeball at the middle school last year — the kids vs. the cops — intending to promote a little more understanding among everyone. Bergeson and Reichard would tell you it's hard to know who learned more: the kids about the police officers or the police about the kids.

But is true action — which requires time, patience and organizational skills — sexy enough? Is it going to draw cameras and attention the way spouting off on Twitter or kneeling for the Star Spangled Banner does?

Ah. These are questions only the two grandstanders themselves can answer.

Kaepernick, especially, should see how grandstanding has affected his persona. He has since given $800,000 of his money to noble causes. And it's barely a postscript because it's hard to undo the images of sitting for the national anthem and later wearing socks to 49ers practice depicting police officers as pigs.

Once again: I get why so many people can't see past the disrespect of the flag to engage in more meaningful conversation. Many have died in the flag's name. It is either coincidental or ironic that this issue has boiled over again, given that Ken Burns' magnificent documentary on Vietnam has been airing for the past week on PBS.

Put it this way: If you watch the series long enough, you realize the one word that defines the Vietnam experience: disillusionment. Too many Americans were there and died there. In the name of the flag. And for what? It's a question that still resonates. And for that, I totally respect anyone angered over Kaepernick's choice of protest.

Kaepernick — unlike Cousins — blew his chance at using his celebrity to affect change. Throw in a president who has no interest in promoting anything hinting at civil discourse and you are where we are today.

So go ahead: Pick your side. That's what we do now anyway. Mix in a few more apocalyptic growls. Good sound bites, right?

Just remember that the grandstanders have enough influence to truly affect change if they really want to.

Seems they don't. Which inspires this question:

How are they doing so far?

This is the opinion of Day sports columnist Mike DiMauro