Husband’s hairpiece attracts unwanted attention in public
DEAR ABBY: My husband wears a hairpiece. Unfortunately, it doesn't look very real. Nearly every time we are in a public place, I notice somebody staring or laughing at it. I have talked to him about it only a couple of times, but each time he tells me how attached he is to it and how good it feels on his head. I want him to be happy, but I do not want him to be publicly ridiculed. Should I throw it away?
- Wife of a man with a "secret"
DEAR WIFE: Absolutely not. If you want to help your husband, start talking with some hairstylists. There may be a product on the market that is more convincing than what your husband is wearing. (Depending upon how much hair he has on the back of his head, a transplant of some follicles may also be possible.) This isn't just about him having something on his head that "feels good." If it was only that, he'd be wearing a hat.
DEAR ABBY: I am recently married, and my husband and I have not consummated our marriage. I made it very clear that this would not be a part of our life together, and he agreed long before we took our vows. We sleep separately.
Recently, my husband has become sullen and passive-aggressive. He tries to push the issue, to the point of making unwanted physical contact. He knew going in that I am extremely uncomfortable with this form of intimacy and that my views would not change.
We love each other, but his behavior is starting to take a toll on me and the stress is straining our relationship. Please help.
- Asexual in love
DEAR ASEXUAL: You and your husband are obviously not on the same page as far as what your expectations are about your marriage. How uncomfortable for you and how frustrating for him. He may have thought that after your wedding, with time, he could change your mind - or he may regard your lack of interest in sex as personal rejection.
For the kind of marriage you envisioned, BOTH parties must feel the same way about sex. Because he agreed to something he can't live with, it might be better for both of you if you separated.
DEAR ABBY: Would you please settle a disagreement I'm having with my mother's boyfriend?
The three of us go out to eat together often. Most times we "go Dutch" and pay for our own meals. The problem arises when he pays for my meal. He'll request the senior price for all of us because he's paying.
I believe the senior discount should apply to the seniors in the group only, and mine should be the regular price. I don't think it's wrong to ask for the senior discount for theirs when I'm paying, but do not feel right claiming it for mine. (I'm more than 20 years away from qualifying.)
It embarrasses me when he does it. I'd much rather pay the full adult price. Even if it's only 50 cents, I still feel like it's cheating.
Shouldn't a senior discount apply to items being purchased for the senior, or should the senior be able to apply their discount for everyone at the table, even if the person is underage?
- Kim in Iowa City
DEAR KIM: Senior discounts are intended to accommodate people who are presumably retired and living on a fixed income. That said, various restaurants make their own rules. If they are willing to comply when your mother's boyfriend asks that everyone be included in the discount, it's no reflection on you if he's the one doing the asking and paying the bill.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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