Why would a 70-something retiree want to write an “advice” column – or, better, a “friends-talking-over-coffee” column? The reason is that I like to write, I like to contribute to other people – particularly to help avoid or resolve conflicts – and I think I have something to offer: perspectives from a life with a reflective bent.

This column will be my best effort to do several things. The first is to create thoughtful, respectful connections with those who write me (perhaps anonymously), and with our readers.

Second is the chance – and certainly my hope – that my thoughts will be helpful to folks navigating a rough patch or puzzling over a dilemma.

Third is that the result of sharing and seeking solutions to life’s challenges should be interesting – and so together we will contribute to the important, community-building work of local, independent journalism.

I invite inquiries from anyone – in Connecticut and beyond – who thinks I might have a useful perspective.

Some of the things that inform my perspective may be useful to note here: I’ve lived in the New London area for nearly 50 years – six years in my teens and early twenties, and almost 40 years as a father, husband, attorney, volunteer, mediator and judge.

I am the eldest son of the late founder of the Chinese Department at Connecticut College and the late co-founder of the New London Quaker Meeting.

I was divorced at 30, married again, helped raise three daughters, became a widower at 60 – and married again. I have been owner of a small business and a small town activist.

I am a lucky and happy man, but I have made many mistakes and experienced failure, regret, and loss. I believe there is a mysterious connectedness within the human family. When someone writes to me through this column, whatever the subject, I will do my best to convey my deeply-felt understanding that we are equals.

In striving to be a good person, I ask a lot of questions of myself about personal responsibility and spirituality. See https://afriendsthoughts.blogspot.com/ and search on “reality check.” On Twitter, see @afriendsthought (singular).

In this column, I will suggest more questions than answers, aiming to contribute to the clarity and empowerment of those who write me about a pickle, a quandary, a wondering.

I should mention the legal caveats that you’d expect: if you write to me, you implicitly convey to me and to the editors and publishers of this column – perhaps including those at publications other than The Day – the right to edit your letter for clarity and brevity; you grant me and all publishers of my work an unlimited, unqualified license to publish your letter, as is, or as edited, in any format (in a blog, book, podcast and/or interview, for example); and you disclaim any compensation if I or the publisher receive money for publishing your letter with my reply.

I can’t promise to reply personally to every letter, let alone to reply as quickly as you might like. If I do reply, it will always and only be as someone who listens and replies as a friend – never as a lawyer, psychotherapist, or other professional. I can’t promise that every submission to which I reply will be published.

So – welcome to this space. I mean it to be a safe space. If you write me, do not include your name. Even if your email address includes, or reveals, your name, I will preserve your anonymity. (I will end all letters with “name withheld” unless it ends with a suitable moniker, like “uncertain host” or “grieved by snub.”)

If you think I might have a thought that would be helpful to you, or just interesting, I invite you to write me at afriend@afriendsthoughts.com. Thanks for reading!

Leeland Cole-Chu lives in Salem.