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    Friday, April 19, 2024

    Donald Trump Is Not Our Type, Believe Me

    The Trump rally promoted by CNN (but paraded as a "town hall") included the inevitable references to the former president's piggish remarks about women. Kaitlan Collins dug in on the famous "Access Hollywood" videotape in which the former president claimed that a rich celebrity could grab a woman by her privates and get away with it. He responded that (a) this statement is obviously true, and (b) he was one such privileged celebrity.

    This rally came on the heels of his losing a lawsuit in which writer E. Jean Carroll accused him of sexual assault in a dressing room at a posh department store. His defense in denying the charges included the remark that Carroll was "not my type."

    Speaking of not-my-type, has anyone looked at Donald Trump recently?

    Trump is an obese 76-year-old who likes pretending to be a young buck who gets to pick and choose among the ladies. The intention may be to obscure the fact that he is only about three years younger than Joe Biden, who many say is too old to be president.

    If that decrepit playboy ever said about yours truly, even in her youth, that she was not his type, I'd say, "That's a comfort."

    Trump's claim that many women are attracted to rich celebrities is not entirely wrong. Girls would slobber over Sid Vicious of the Sex Pistols. Sid had bad skin, dirty hair and was generally disgusting. (He died of a heroin overdose at 21.)

    When Trump was young, handsome and seemed to be very rich, sure, women might throw him their room keys. But even the bells and whistles of fame and money do not alter the reality that Trump is now what detractors might call an old goat. The dictionary defines "old goat" as "a lecherous man, especially one considerably older than those to whom he is attracted."

    Perhaps some of the female attendees going MAGA at his rallies might feel the "animal magnetism." No disrespect intended, but that demographic is really not Trump's type. We know of no case in which he courted a woman wearing a Trump sweatshirt in a rally's 24th row.

    Face it. His type is porn star Stormy Daniels. And one thing he still has is money.

    There is no solid evidence that Trump pays for sex. Daniels was paid, if not directly for sex, but to not talk about what happened between them right before an election (and we don't really know what actually happened). Whatever happened, she did walk off with a tidy payday of $130,000.

    Trump's third wife, Melania, was a model and remains a beauty to this day. But one also doubts she would have married Trump had he offered life on a science teacher's salary.

    On the seduction front, what woman is afraid of that old masher? Trump's problem with Carroll and the "nasty" Collins is that he failed to intimidate either of them.

    Of consequence to America's female voters is not how he rates their looks but what he's done to their reproductive rights. Trump's judges are taking away their ability to end an unwanted (or life-threatening) pregnancy. This is something that truly affects them, their daughters and their families' financial stability. That matters.

    Forty years ago, Trump might have been able to mesmerize party girls with his promise of celebrity tinsel, Champagne and access to golden toilets. And despite six bankruptcies, he may still have a lot of dough.

    As for the rest of him, let's put it this way: Trump in his mid-70s is no Johnny Rotten, the Sex Pistols frontman of 40 years ago. He's not even Fat Elvis, who at least was nice.

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