Remember summer as a kid? You were on vacation from school, living the life of leisure and then on top of that there was another kind of vacation, the family vacation. You packed up your things and the car and set out on an adventure where your destination was the beach or the mountains, anywhere other than your home. You asked your parents when you were going to be there every 15 minutes and listened to your walk man or played the License Plate Game. I remember being excited and anticipating such fun. Now as I listen to clients' and family member's stories about their family vacations, in addition to my own experiences, I wonder what my parents thought of the whole thing, because it sure is different as a parent, isn't it? Especially if your little one struggles with anxiety or being out of their routine.

Recently I listened as a parent of a 5-year-old boy explained how difficult it was for him to go to sleep on vacation. The excuses made me laugh inside and included, "I cant sleep because ... I think I heard something ... I have go to go to the bathroom ... I want a drink ... my brother's breath smells." (They were roommates.) My son also struggled to go to sleep on vacation and explained, quite frankly, that his room at the vacation home was just "not cozy enough."

Having a little one struggle on vacation can take the wind right out of your beach-going sails. When planning and paying for the vacation, parents don't often visualize kids complaining while playing at the beach, whining at a ball game or asking to go to school. (no joke, a particular 4-year-old asked his parents to find him a school to go to that week rather than go to the beach) But for kids who need a routine as a coping tool for anxiety, it becomes a very real situation for parents. And it may be hard for parents to understand. They may interpret their child as ungrateful or entitled but this is not the case at all. Their children are longing for what they know and unless you go to the same spot for vacation year after year, that is not something they can achieve until midway through the week ... if you stay that long. Either way, vacation is something that throws certain kids for a loop!

So how can you best prepare your little one(s) for the sweet life? Here are a few ideas:

1. Stick to their routine. Sounds easy enough right, but I mean really stick to it, especially if your child is 5 or under. Keep the bedtime the same and try to replicate as many of the things you do at home to help your little one know what to expect. For example: if s/he has a specific routine upon waking up in the morning and bedtime, do it on vacation.

Now this may seem lame for vacation. Keeping an early bedtime, getting back to the hotel, house THAT early? Yep. It's hard, but once they hit about 6 it will get easier. Another thing some parents say is "don't they have to learn to deal with unexpected changes and differences?" Yes, but for the small ones or the worriers, it takes longer. You want to push at appropriate ages, not too soon. And if you push too soon, you may not enjoy your vacation quite as much.

2. Take a mini vacation. Recently we returned back from 7 nights away and, while it was very nice, it was a long time. Then I was chatting with a colleague who has 3 small kids and she said "Oh we never go for more than 4 days." I thought, 'You are brilliant.' So go ahead and take off the full week, and spend part of it at home until they are about 6, maybe 7 for the younger-hearted ones.

3. Keep it constant for a few years. Return to the same vacation spot and home/hotel for a few years in a row so the little ones know what to expect before they get there. They will be able to picture their room, the setup and even the fun activities they want to do.

4. Bring home with you. Have your child pack the blanket from their bed and their pillow, nightlight and books. Yes, there will be linens and probably even a nightlight at your vacation spot, but this helps simulate home which equals safety and comfort.

5. Less is more. Don't feel like you need to overplan. Vacation is meant to be relaxing, so do that, and help your child learn to relax as well. Each day does not need to be filled with activities from sunrise to sunset.

Now I ask you, the readers to share your vacation tips. How do you ensure your family has fun and comes home from vacation happy and relaxed? Please submit any info that would be helpful in the 'comments' section. And just know, I will write them down for our family vacation next year!

Beverly Carr is a contributing writer and former school social worker now in private practice in Norwich. She assists clients in the areas of childhood anxiety, loss and bereavement, special education and learning issues, and social skills. Look for "When Push Comes to Love" the first Monday of each month.