What language are they speaking?

School is back in session. By this time, the kids (and teachers) are fully immersed. There are quizzes, projects and daily homework, even for the little ones. With the work, comes assessment. Teachers are already assessing your child to see if they are performing on grade level, excelling or may need assistance. It is rather amazing how early that assessment process starts and because many districts delayed the start of school due to the hurricane, teachers are actually behind in their teaching. The hurricane did not, however, change the required dates to complete initial assessments, so the kids are being assessed minus three days of teaching. If you think missing three days doesn't make a difference, visit a kindergarten classroom to see what these little learners absorb in one day.

As the assessments continue, you may learn that your child is struggling. As a parent, you can pick up on these struggles during homework time and by staying in communication with your child's classroom teacher. As the year moves forward, there may be a need for meetings to discuss your child's progress. Parent-teacher conferences. Team Meetings. Special education PPT (Planning and Placement Team) meetings. A lot of parents do not feel completely comfortable in these meetings. It can feel like the teachers and staff are "ganging up" on parents or speaking a language of acronyms that parents don't understand. And it may be hard for parents to speak up, if they are feeling overwhelmed. Below are some tips to help parents advocate for themselves and their children while feeling like part of a team with the school. Collaboration between parents and teachers is the best recipe for a child's educational success.

• Maintain open communication with your child's teacher. From the start of the school year, determine what form of communication is best for both you and their teacher, whether it be email, phone messages or phone calls after school hours.

• Educate yourself about the school resources for your child. There are typically supports for children who are regular education and for those who are identified special education. You can start by looking on the school's website for a contact person related to Support Services or Pupil Services.

• Learn about the Special Education process. There are many regulations in place that guide the process for students identified as having special educational needs. It is in your best interest to educate yourself before calling a meeting or being invited to one for your child. Visit The Connecticut Parent Advocacy Center for more information: http://www.cpacinc.org/.

• Speaking of "PPT" - learn what it means. And if someone uses a word you or term you don't understand, don't be afraid to ask for clarification. Teachers are there to be a part of your child's team. They aren't trying to overwhelm you or make you feel inadequate. Visit the Connecticut State Department of Education to find the newest terminology that can help you better understand the Special Education process. http://www.sde.ct.gov/sde/site/default.asp

• Bring reinforcements. If you think it will be an overwhelming meeting, bring support in the form of a family member or friend. Be sure you both write things down to refer to later since there is usually a lot of information shared about your child at these meetings.

There is another side to the anxiety that may arise in you when you get called to school for a meeting for your child - and that is your own school experience. You may have had a negative experience or spent some time in the principal's office. These negative experiences can elevate your anxiety. Try to stay conscious of that and put it where it belongs, in the past. Easier said than done, sometimes. But if you felt that teachers were against you when you were a kid, it will be hard for you to walk into a meeting for your child and feel that teachers are not against you now. Keeping this in mind might help you let go of any anxiety as you start advocating for your child.

We know parenting is not an easy task. Nor is educating children. Try to remain collaborative with your child's teacher. Learn the terms they use and move forward in the school year feeling confident in knowing that you and the school are a team in providing your child with their education.

Beverly Carr is a Norwich-based family therapist. Her column appears monthly in Grace online. Visit beverlycarr.vpweb.com for more information.