I have always dreamed of writing a book about myself. What has held me back, up to now, is living a mundane and conformist life. Now I have connected in a bizarre and perverse way with a bigly personality whose operating zeitgeist hinges on lying in a consistently grandiose way. I'm not talking about the "little white lies" one tells to avoid hurt feelings, but rather lies to exploit our baser emotions.

I believe that if I am willing to repeat a lie often enough, as Minister Goebbels advised, I might even get invited to be a guest on a Fox News show and that would be exciting, wouldn't it?

I cannot wait to begin the process of twisting and misrepresenting the former "facts" that have thwarted my ambition to be a genuine mover and shaker on the planet. My new perspective on myself actually unnerves me, but I'll just have to adopt a cheerful willingness to lie my way to the new celebrity status for which I yearn. If I strive to be famous and merely end up notorious, will I no longer be a faceless, nameless "loser?"

Yes, I will gain status as a renowned deceiver.

Robert Jordan

Waterford