A voicemail was left on my phone.

I pressed play, breath catching eagerly in throat as a scholarship official explained how my entry, which I submitted a few months ago, was excellent. I had been waiting for a response for months. He urged I call him back.

Dialing the number with excitement, I drew in a breath as he immediately answered, elaborating on the quality of my application. I clenched my fist as he explained how there were many wonderful entries. Taking a breath, he continued.

My jaw dropped. My heart fell. I did not win.

I was devastated. I had spent countless hours writing my essay, fine-tuning my application and perfecting my resume, but somehow that wasn’t enough. I was angry. I felt that I worked harder and accomplished more than any of the other applicants.

But mostly, I was fearful. If I couldn’t win a scholarship among a small group of my peers, how would I fare in the real world? I have aspirations of attending prestigious colleges and accomplishing incredible things. If I couldn’t achieve what I thought to be a small feat, how would I ever go where I wanted?

It seemed as if this disappointment had dashed my dreams.

“Disappointment is a part of life that the teenage years provides plenty of practice in managing.” After my rejection, I had a moment of clarity.

Knowing the rules

Although I completed the application, requested the teacher recommendations and gradually built my resume, I realized that there was no objective. How was I supposed to play a game if I didn’t know the rules?

College acceptance? Or perhaps rejection? Leading your sports team to victory? Or letting it crash and burn? The teenage years are a bittersweet time for us teens. For some, it is viewed with exhilaration and excitement; for others, with fear and regret.

We all know disappointment, whether it’s not making the team or not getting invited. We view this as an impassable barrier rather than a stepping stone. In order to achieve our goals, we teens need to see the situation from a different perspective, practice resilience, motivation, and confidence, and simply realize that some things are out of our control.

We all know what disappointment feels like. We become jealous, which causes us to make assumptions and ruin friendships. I begrudgingly congratulated the winner, my friend. I was happy, yet disappointed.

After failing a test or flubbing an audition, it is natural for teens to be dismayed. The temptation of not knowing “Was I close? What did I do wrong? Was there anything I could have done?” can be too much to bear.

It can be difficult to try again, knowing you may (and probably will) fail again. We need to practice resilience, motivation and confidence to overcome setbacks and achieve our goals.

Ultimately, despite our best efforts, there are some things not under our control, like race, gender and background. We teens need to accept this and suck it up. Either apply, or don’t.

Acknowledge that failure and disappointment are a part of life. How we handle these obstacles determines our future. What I’ve personally realized is that while I cannot control the outcome, I can control my reaction.

What if we reacted differently to disappointment? What if we used our disappointment to motivate us to success? What if we studied harder to get a better grade on the test, or practiced more to get a spot on the team? The only thing that is stopping us from success is ourselves.

Maria Proulx of Ledyard is a rising junior at St. Bernard School in Montville.