As a member of Groton’s Representative Town Meeting, I have a unique insight into what it is to be a local elected representative. Like most local elected officials, I am not paid for my work as an RTM member, so I fit in my work for the town around my business, my family and everything else that places demands on my time.

I do my best to understand the issues affecting my constituents and to serve them as well as I can, but often the information I need comes directly from those constituents, but only if they share it with me.

During a recent contentious discussion of a pending development, I saw examples of the right and wrong way to approach your elected officials, and I wanted to share some tips on reaching out to your local municipal leaders for the maximum effect.

The people who lead your town are your neighbors. They’re not political hacks in Washington. They are people who shop at the same stores as you and may have kids in the school with your kids. They live within 5 miles of you. They can have a cup of coffee with you, or at least a phone call.

Don’t approach them like you would your congressman.

Sure, you can send them a letter laying out your arguments, but it makes more sense to ask for a meeting or a call. Engage with them. Share your opinions and concerns, but have an open mind to hear what they know.

There is almost always more to the issue than you are aware of, and, by listening, you may learn the keys to a compromise that will be good for everyone.

Rarely does an official want to shove something down the neighborhood’s throat, but if no one is having a conversation with them, how can they possibly know what is best for the community?

We get so used to the adversarial tone in Washington that we might be inclined to use it speaking to local leaders. Resist that temptation. You may think that you’re a voter and they should listen to you, and that is true, but they have no obligation to listen to someone who is rude or disrespectful. How do you react when someone comes at your full of invective? Probably not well.

When you approach your elected officials, be polite about it. Every day, people are coming at them with one agenda or another. Those who are polite and respectful are far more likely to get a good hearing than those who are belligerent and aggressive. You catch more flies with honey, as they say.

When you approach your local official, know what you want. If you go in saying that you don’t like the way this development is being handled, the best you’ll get is a thank you for bringing it to their attention. Not because they don’t care, but because not liking the process is too vague.

What can they do about it? Restart and revise the whole process for you?

On the other hand, if you have specific concerns about sidewalks, traffic, public open space and what color they’re going to paint the new building, then those are all actionable. Officials can look at what you would like and weigh if that’s a direction that could be considered.

It’s far easier to accomodate an objective request than a subjective feeling. Be specific in what you’d like to see change.

Most local officials serve because they want to do good for their community. For most, there’s no money in it, and it’s a hard and relatively thankless job. If you have a legitimate concern, they want to help.

Most local leaders of any political affiliation are more interested in serving the people of their town than any political agenda. When you engage with your local leaders in an open minded, polite manner, you’ll often find they’re just neighbors trying to help make things better.

Michael Whitehouse of Groton is a member of the town’s Representative Town Meeting.

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