These last few months have been unusual in so many ways. Among all the changes in our lives, many of us have had a lot more time with our families, which can be wonderfut but can also be too much sometimes.

I’m going to focus mostly on the challenges of being together, but there are also a lot of positive aspects of extra time your partner and/or family.

Many families are finding that they enjoy each other’s company more than they expected. Little kids often thrive on having parents around more often (exhausting as that may be for parents). Having young adult children back in town during the shutdown has been terrific for some empty-nesters. And even teens, while they really miss seeing their friends, are finding they appreciate the slower pace and even like having time to be with their parents and siblings.

Maybe you’ve had some meaningful conversations with someone important to you that you might not have had in a busier time. Probably you’ve learned things about your partner or child. Maybe you’ve discovered a game or activity you like to do together or shows you like to watch together. Maybe you’re better rested, so you have more energy to be curious about the people you love. All good!

Balancing space and connection

Amid all the benefits of connection, there can also be challenges. After months of being home most of the time, the novelty has long worn off. No matter how much you love your partner and children, no matter how many good things you do together, sometimes you just need to be just you. And that’s okay.

Talk with your family about who needs more solo time. Be candid about what you need, while still being kind. (“I feel like I need an evening to myself” will go over much better than “Get outta my face!”)

Don’t take it personally when someone needs space. Your partner or child isn’t rejecting you; they just need a different amount of privacy than you might at the moment.

Insisting that people spend more time doing the same activity than they feel like is a recipe for short tempers. It’s better to give people private time, too, so the time you have together is enjoyable for everyone.

If there are more than two of you living together, allow for various configurations. Two parents may need time apart from the kids, even if that means you’re just in different rooms for an hour or eat dinner at different times one night a week. Or a parent may want an evening or a walk with just one child. Mix it up.

Managing emotions

Things are stressful. Everyone has questions about how long the pandemic will last, concerns about health risks, and worries about jobs and money.

For people whose jobs might expose them to the coronavirus or who have lost jobs and income, the stresses are huge. All that can make us blue or irritable.

At the extreme, the stress and close quarters can worsen serious anger problems. If you’re afraid of your partner or experiencing abuse, call the police or contact Safe Futures at their 24/7, toll-free hotline: (860) 701-6001.

More often, pandemic stress just makes us grumpy. Some people are withdrawn or irritable a lot lately; others just have the occasional bad day.

It’s understandable to get in lousy moods in these weird times. But try to deal with your moods in a way that doesn’t make things worse for the people you live with.

Find outlets for irritability. I’m a fan of physical release, like running, hitting tennis balls against a wall, splitting wood, or throwing rocks into the water (when no one is around).

Venting or yelling (whether in-person or online) may feel like a release, but it isn’t: it’ll likely only make you madder.

If there are specific things at home that are bothering you, wait until you’re calm to talk about them. Avoid accusations. Do your best to state your underlying feelings — the stuff like hurt or overwhelm or worry that’s beneath the anger — so your partner can understand what’s going on.

Propose solutions (“It’d be easier for me if we...”) rather than leaving it to them to figure out what might make things better.

It may help to watch less news and minimize social media. The news tends to amplify the drama, when really, we all need less drama.

You and your family might agree to talk less about current events you can’t control and more about happier topics, like favorite memories, things you look forward to doing in future years, or interesting things you’ve learned.

You’ll improve your mood and therefore your family life if you figure out what soothes or distracts you, which you might do solo or with someone else. Consider calming practices like yoga, prayer, meditation, or keeping a gratitude journal.

Take a bath, do a puzzle, knit, paint, or build furniture... anything that helps you be more pleasant to be around.

If things are getting rocky in your home, get help. We are all feeling a bit overwhelmed and out of sorts these days. Talking with a therapist can help you cope with difficult feelings and reduce conflict.

Above all, be patient with each other. The pandemic is hard for everyone in your household, one way or another. Try not to take your grumpiness out on them, and try not to take it personally when they have an off day.

Do your best to be kind when those around you are stressed. The more patient you can be, the more your home can be a haven in these difficult times.

Jill Whitney is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Old Lyme who blogs about relationships at KeepTheTalkGoing.com.

If you live alone

If you're hunkered down solo, you may wish you had family around to get on your nerves. This is a tough time for singles.

Usually, you have friends and family you get together with, people you can call, and places to go to gather. Until coronavirus appeared, you may rarely have felt lonely. But recently, many of your usual resources may not be available to you.

Unfortunately, I don't have any brilliant ideas for making the isolation easier. I hope you've been calling and videoconferencing with friends and maybe going on socially distanced walks together. But it's just not the same, and it's hard. It just is. Do the best you can to stay connected, focus on things you can control, and be kind to yourself. This, too, shall pass.