Is there any day quite like the first day of school?

This month and last saw various first days of school for students. Is there anything more precious than those wonderful photos of the beautiful children, one and all, waiting for their first bus ride or driving themselves to school as a big 12th grader. It’s so stirring, for all of us who have ever been to school, which is pretty much everybody. We remember: we were there; and there’s something about the innocent expression on the students’ faces: The hopefulness, the excitement, the energy of this day is unique and treasured by our culture, celebrated and shared, because of what it is — a deep expression of our optimism, our idealism, and our deep love for our children.

But there is also a bittersweet flavor to the day, perhaps because it is coming as it always does on the tail end of summer, which even when oppressively hot still tastes of freedom and ease.

And then there are the memories of our own experiences as children in schools, and some of those memories are colored by pain, confusion, and struggle. We know what lies in wait for our children at school because we went there ourselves. And have schools really changed that much from what we knew as children? Probably not, if you stop to think about it. Some surface changes, sure, but just look out the window: the buses are still yellow.

I love seeing the pictures parents post of their children on the first day of school. I love them fiercely, because I treasure that little person who’s stepping on that bus, I don’t care how old they are. I know what they deserve, and I know schools are bound to fall short.

And it’s nobody’s fault. It’s just that’s what schools are. That’s what they do. They do their best, I think.

But do they? For such a long time I’ve believed that everyone is doing their best. Teachers, parents, administrators — everybody involved with education is just doing their best. In fact, one of my most favorite sayings is “everyone is doing their best, or the best they can under the circumstances” (which seems to cover just about every imaginable situation).

But lately I’ve started to question that idea. I mean, yes and no. It’s yes, we’re doing our best, at least I guess, but no, we’re not doing good enough. We can do better. In fact, it’s no longer an option. We must.

Schools offer a wide variety of subjects taught by the most well-meaning people on the planet (I speak from my own bias here, obviously). But we are missing the biggest piece: mental well-being; the psychological thriving of every human being in that building, including the staff.

And in the absence of addressing this fundamental topic, we inadvertently do harm.

We need to innoculate — yes, I’m talking about a vaccine, but not like the one you think. I’m talking about sharing with our children with an understanding of how to manage their minds. To teach them about the nature of thought, the source of emotion, and the capacity they all possess to live lives that are free instead of unnecessarily burdened. Imagine going to school and actually learning who you are and what you are truly capable of. That’s some powerful education. That’s a first day of school worth getting excited about.

So let’s talk about what that looks like. What it really means to be a healthy adult, and how to model that for our youngest citizens. How to communicate in a nonviolent manner, how to take responsibility for all that we’ve been given, and how to move forward into uncertainty and change.

What does it mean to teach children how to be a good and happy human?

Gay Collins is a retired Waterford Public Schools teacher with a master’s degree from Connecticut College who lives in Preston. She can be reached at yagspill@gmail.com.