What does it mean to be anti- racist? Most of us have some sort of image of what racism looks and sounds like, whether it be overt racism or microaggression. Certainly, this past year has been a catalyst for many of us to get up to speed analyzing and reflecting on both our own inner racism and how we play a part in white supremist-based societal systems.

But what does it mean to be actively anti-racist? It would probably be a challenge to find someone who would blatantly admit racism is a good thing, so by default, racism — bad. OK. And if something is bad, we should be against it. Agreed. So aren’t we all essentially anti-racist?

But anti-racism is more than being against racism. The National Museum of African American History and Culture’s website provides these thoughts on anti-racism:

“No one is born racist or anti-racist; these result from the choices we make. Being anti-racist results from a conscious decision to make frequent, consistent, equitable choices daily. These choices require ongoing self-awareness and self-reflection as we move through life. In the absence of making anti-racist choices, we (un)consciously uphold aspects of white supremacy, white-dominant culture, and unequal institutions and society. Being racist or anti-racist is not about who you are; it is about what you do.”

Fair enough. So, what should we do? Or not do?

Let’s start with our kids.

Children up to 6

It is never too early to start to teach your children to be anti-racist, partly because young children are inherently anti-racist. Children do not associate qualities to race in these early years. While they can recognize differences, it is not natural for them to discriminate based on these differences. At this age, and you’ll read in later years as well, fostering young children’s natural tendency toward compassion is the best way to lay the foundation for anti-racism. This is also the age to ensure your children are exposed to a wide variety of cultures.

Having dolls with a rich array of skin tones and hair texture and emphasizing how unique and beautiful each one is can have a real impact at this age. I remember buying my 4-year-old a doll from the Barbie Fashionistas line. She had beautiful bronze skin and an Afro. Though we have other dolls in our household of color, this was the most ethnically accurate. My son stated that he didn’t want to play with that doll because her hair was different from his favorite doll, Rapunzel, a blonde straight-haired Disney character. I talked him through it and showed him all the cool ways he could do her hair including puffs, which he thought was absolutely awesome. Brown Flower, as he named her, quickly became one of his favorite dolls in rotation, and he would sleep with her at night. Cultivating a multicultural household may not be that simple, but this interaction was certainly a start for us.

Multicultural children’s books are also a good way to incorporate diversity into your home. “The Colors of Us” by Karen Katz and “It’s Okay to Be Different” by Todd Parr are two of our household’s favorites for this age. Both teach compassion and understanding and are culturally diverse. Essentially the focus at this age is on exposure to diverse peoples and cultures and emphasis on equality.

Children 7–11

There is an important cognitive shift for children at this age. During this stage, children become more aware of a world outside themselves. They become less egocentric and begin to understand that not everyone shares the same experiences. This is important for laying the groundwork for true anti-racism and social activism. Children begin to be able to recognize that race plays a part in how people are treated.

At this age, children will begin to understand current events and it may be appropriate to open some discussion about all that has taken place in the past year. While not all news footage is age-appropriate, there are useful resources to broach the subject. Sesame Street, for instance, did a well-developed YouTube video on Black Lives Matter. While your 10-year-old is probably not still watching Sesame Street (though I have to admit, I happily watched with my youngest), they will recognize the characters. The video is well explained and age appropriate. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xBUFcv0y0yk

PBS also has a page for how to talk to your kids about racism that is particularly helpful: https://www.pbs.org/parents/talking-about-racism

Children aged 12+

Ahh, the teenage years…

While you might not be crazy about your children’s eye roll or growing attitude, this age is where anti-racism blossoms. At this stage, children are able to use logic to solve problems and plan the future. They can analyze the world around them and come up with possible solutions to problems, the perfect recipe for social justice and activism. At this age, it’s important to talk to children about racism and also help children get involved in combating it. Teenagers can write to their local representatives and hold them accountable to enact and enforce anti-biased policy. They can educate themselves and others, they can physically join the Black Lives Matter movement, donate, and support black-owned businesses. I also suggest this video on how to raise the next generation of change makers. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FnqS49Zfrjw.

Some books for this age in order to get the conversation going: “All American Boys” by Jason Reynolds, “Black Boy/ White School” by Brian F. Walker, and “Our Stories, Our Voices: 21 YA Authors Get Real About Injustice, Empowerment, and Growing Up Female in America” compiled by Editor Amy Reed.

All in all, no matter the age, the time to teach children to be anti-racist is now.

Nickie Padilla is a mom of two, an educator and an advocate. She is the director of Programming for SCORE (the Southeastern Connecticut Organization for Racial Equity).