New London — The words of Buddhist scholar Pema Chodron: "Nothing ever goes away until it teaches us what we need to know."

This is why the New London Public Schools' recent solution to gym security and fan behavior is a swing and a miss. It was at best surface level blather, more accurately ringing as insensitive and out of touch.

The new guidelines, in response to a pair of recent incidents at boys' basketball games, requires parents or guardians to accompany students into Conway Gym and sit with them throughout the game.

This rule checks every surface level box, purporting to shift the responsibility of proper behavior to parents and guardians. It's a good sound bite for sure, likely going over big somewhere in Utopia, where all the Von Trapps and the Huxtables live happily ever after.

Ah, but this is New London.

And the circumstances of New London kids are far more layered and complicated. Plenty of people inside the school know that. But it is both discouraging and infuriating that the people who sign their checks don't.

Questions about this new policy:

• What if a kid shows up without a parent? In this era where it's more important than ever to keep kids connected with their school, we're  going to deny them a chance to sit with their friends at something as innocuous as a basketball game?

• What if they lie about the person they claim is a parent? Is the ticket taker going to have access to school records?

• Are students whose parents work nights disqualified? This is New London. Parents work second shift. Sometimes two jobs. They may have other children at home and cannot leave. They may not have transportation options at their behest. Issuing such a decree without showing an iota of respect for the circumstances many of the kids face is insulting.

The edict went on to outline the school's security plan for basketball games, trumpeting the school's "security team." One member of the security team had to be restrained after last Saturday's game against Amistad. The security team member in question went after referee Rob Bono after the game.

"All I'm going to say is that something needs to change over there," Bono wrote in a text message. "It's not a safe environment for the officials after the game when security people are cussing out the officials in the hallway."

And this "security team" is part of the solution?

How can you say that with a straight face?

And who are we attempting to placate by refusing to pay a police officer?

I'm not suggesting to call in the National Guard. A police officer (singular, not plural) and better trained and identified security personnel would have kept the conference tournament girls' basketball semifinals at New London. League officials sugarcoated their reasons for moving the games to Fitch. The truth is that they have no assurances of proper security.

That's an embarrassment.

Funny how New London fancies itself as this bastion of inclusion, except when it comes to the police. But if polarization is the goal — heaven forbid the kids and the cops occupy the same airspace and have a conversation or two at the games — then at least offer incentives to teachers, staff members and coaches in the school to attend games and perhaps sit among the kids.

Think about the opportunity lost this season. The Whalers are a fun team to watch. Freshmen Da'Shaun Phillips and Savahn Warren are absurdly good for their age. Nobody else plays with more joy than Rhodia Perry. Imagine a forward-thinking marketing idea tethered to the popularity of the basketball team. Offer any spectator coming to the gym the chance for a guided tour of the shiny new school and all its educational opportunities. Might all the new bells and whistles change a few perceptions?

Instead of using sports as a marketing tool, they've become a public relations nightmare. It's infuriating.

Here is what I've come to learn about New London High: Too many students — not all, not most — but too many disrupt the climate and distort the character of the school community by arriving at the doors without enough expectations of success.

A small percentage of students negatively affects the general climate of the building. It is a frustrating truth. The concern is the growth rate of that small percentage, the escalating scope of their disruption and the trend of such behavior toward lower grade levels.

Members of the public don't see all that during the school day. But they sure do at a basketball game. All of which means this is an issue that molds and alters perceptions.

New London officials can't possibly think they have insights here other schools don't. And asking parents or guardians, who may or may not have the means, to transport and babysit, shows astonishing levels of obliviousness.

This is the opinion of Day sports columnist Mike DiMauro