New London — Every day for the past 1½ years, a 33-year-old local woman has been swallowing a dose of foul-tasting clear liquid that she says enables her to hold down a job in customer service and raise her daughter.

Krystle is one of 400 methadone patients at Hartford Dispensary, a clinic at 931 Bank St., that has quietly served opiate-dependent residents of area towns since 1992.  Connecticut has 25 methadone clinics that serve about 15,000 people at any given time, according to the Department of Mental Health and Addiction Services. The Hartford Dispensary also operates the region's other methadone clinic in Norwich. 

Methadone, sometimes described as a maintenance drug for those addicted to opiates, fills the dopamine receptors in the brain that had been satisfied with heroin.

Krystle volunteered to tell her story because she said she wants people to know help is available and that methadone works. She initially was willing to use her full name in The Day and be photographed, but decided, after speaking with her family and employer, that it would be better to use just her first name.

"I have to protect myself because there's a stigma," she said. "I have to protect my daughter. I want to remove that stigma. People have to understand that it doesn't matter where you came from. It hits everybody and there's a huge epidemic. I'm sick of seeing people die."

Krystle lives in an affluent town, as do many other clinic patients. 

"Addiction does not discriminate," said Barbara Gotay Matthew, supervisor of the New London clinic. "It can be professionals. It can be people who live at the Homeless Hospitality Center. Every walk of life can have an addiction and we treat them all. We treat them all the same."

Krystle is weaning off methadone, which she said she started using at the recommendation of her doctor. She said she became dependent on Fentanyl patches she used for shoulder pain related to a 2002 car crash, a medication she took because she could not hold down pills but had pain so severe she "didn't want to live." She underwent surgery and therapy, but said the shoulder still gives her pain and she eventually will undergo another procedure.

She said she didn't consider herself an addict, and that she wasn't abusing the drug but was physically dependent.

 The patches enabled her to go on with her life, Krystle said, but she made the decision to get off Fentanyl, a powerful opiate, after she went to fill her prescription and the pharmacy didn't have any on hand. She said she never felt "high" from the patch, but she needed it to feel normal. Methadone works the same way, she said.

Going to the clinic for the first time was difficult for Krystle, who said she never abused drugs or used heroin. But she said she was treated with respect and became accustomed to standing in line with people from all walks of life. There are men and women with children and people in business suits, she said. She sees her fellow patients transform from sick, scrawny and unemployed to healthy and productive members of society.

For the first year, she went to the clinic daily between the 6 and 10 a.m. "dosing hours" to get her methadone. Patients swipe their identification cards to learn if they will have to render a urine sample or take a breathalyzer that day. Once they reach the window, they swallow their daily dose under supervison. Krystle said she eventually earned the right to take home a Saturday bottle of methadone after providing consistently clean urine samples, attending group counseling sessions and complying with other clinic rules. She earned a Monday bottle, next, then a Sunday bottle, so that she was able to dose herself Saturday, Sunday and Monday. Now she visits the clnic just once a week, drinking her daily dose at the window before leaving with six bottles containing 35-milligram doses of the drug. She stores the methadone in a locked box inside a safe at her home.

Matthew, the clinic supervisor, said clinic patients are between 21 years old (the minimum age for using methadone) and their 60s. She said it's a safe medication that some patients use for a short time and others stay on for as long as 20 years. Though methadone requires a commitment from users, it also gives them back their lives because they are not spending all their time worrying about getting drugs.  

"People who are addicted to opiates, because the body has withdrawl, continue to use not to feel sick," she said. "Methadone is long acting, lasting 24 to 72 hours. Patients say with pills or heroin they have to use every four hours or they're going to feel sick."

There is no waiting list at the clinic, and the only requirement is that applicants render a urine sample, under supervision, that tests positive for opiates. Before they leave, they receive an appointment for a physical — there is a doctor on staff — and they know they will have their first dose of methadone within days, she said. Every patient starts with a 30-milligram dose, and most go up to 50 milligrams during the first few weeks.

"The decision to get into recovery and stop using is a very scary, courageous and lonely path," Matthew said.

The only insurance accepted by the clinic is state insurance. Patients with private insurance can be reimbursed if their insurer covers methadone, and there is a sliding scale for those who don't have insurance or want to pay out of pocket. Fees range from $30 to more than $100 a week, which Matthew points out is less costly than buying drugs on the street. The clinic provides counseling, annual physicals, laboratory work and group therapy.

Skeptics say methadone users are not clean but have simply switched to another drug.

"That's not the case," said Mattthew. "Addiction is different than being dependent on methadone. When you're addicted, it takes you over 24-7. When you're dependent on methadone, you're able to focus, to come here once a day for your dose and feel normal. You're not fixated on the whole thing."

To reach the Hartford Dispensary, call (860) 447-2233.

k.florin@theday.com