DEAR ABBY: I need help! I have shoplifted several times. I was caught and have a police record. I am a grandparent. I know it's wrong, and I don't do it all the time. Is this a mental disorder, or am I just being stupid? If I know this is wrong, why do I keep doing it? And where do I start to look for help?

- Sticky fingers

DEAR STICKY FINGERS: Some people shoplift because they are criminals, some do it for "thrills," and others do it to make up for something else that is missing in their lives. Because you know what you are doing is wrong, would like to understand your compulsion and want to stop, the person to discuss this with is a psychologist. Your physician can refer you to one, or contact your state psychological association to find someone in your area.

DEAR ABBY: My girlfriend and I have called it quits after three years. Distance was the main reason. It wasn't a bad breakup, but it's still a difficult transition for both of us. She would rather we not see or speak to each other for a while to let things heal.

Her birthday is coming up soon, and I don't feel right not acknowledging it. Her special day means a lot to her, and I still love and respect her for who she is. Is sending a card and gift appropriate, or should I just leave her be?

- Distance was the reason

DEAR DISTANCE: Send a birthday card and tell her that because the day is special, you couldn't let it pass unacknowledged. It shouldn't be necessary to send a gift in light of the fact that you are no longer a couple.