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    Advice Columns
    Monday, May 13, 2024

    Aunt’s broken promises feed a years-long grudge

    DEAR ABBY: My aunt is a money-hungry, conniving thief. From the time I was a baby, she always bought me gifts. But when her parents (my grandparents) died, she literally stole more than $200,000 from them. She claims my grandfather willed it all to her, which is not true because he detested her. She promised my mom $5,000 when she retired. Well, it has been 10 years since Mom retired, and my aunt claims she doesn't remember promising her. Then she claimed she invested and lost it. Do I have a right to be angry at her?

    — MAD IN MICHIGAN

    DEAR MAD: I think so, and your mother has the right to be even angrier. My question for you is how much time do you want to waste nursing the grudge? It doesn't hurt your aunt, but it takes up space in your head that could be devoted to positive endeavors. This is not to say you must maintain a relationship with this woman. Quite the contrary.

    DEAR ABBY: We have been visiting our children and have been asked to remove our shoes when inside. I am diabetic. I have been complying with the no-shoes edicts, but reluctantly. We keep our shoes on in our home, so spending several days padding around in my socks makes me uncomfortable.

    Abby, diabetics are cautioned to keep their shoes on at all times, even inside. There are real risks to a diabetic's feet. Also, I have trouble navigating stairs and slipped several times while climbing or descending the stairs in my stocking feet. It's dangerous for me to go up and down uncarpeted wood steps. It seems to me that the no-shoes folk should think about some of these issues before issuing a mandate.

    — DIABETIC DAD IN MISSOURI

    DEAR DAD: Do nothing that is counter to your doctor's orders. If you haven't explained them to your children, do it now. Perhaps a compromise could work: Buy a pair of shoes or slippers for indoor use only that you leave at their home for the times when you visit. However, if they are not open to this idea, you will have to visit with them only outside their home.

    DEAR ABBY: I like this guy at work. I think he's cute, but I don't know if he's interested. I also don't know if there's a chance he would ask me out. I'm scared I might be considered a "cougar." I am older than he is by five (or more) years. Please advise.

    — ANXIOUS IN MARYLAND

    DEAR ANXIOUS: Are there any rules at work that discourage employees from dating each other? Some businesses have them. Does this guy spend time talking with you during breaks? If he does, it's a hopeful sign. Has he mentioned what he does outside of work and whether he's seeing anyone? If he does flirt with you, you could always ask if he'd be interested in meeting for a drink after work, going to a sporting event, etc. But be prepared that he may want you only for a friend.

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