Hey, parents and grandparents, are you laboring over what to buy the kids for the holidays this year?

Have you already experienced buyer's remorse for past purchases of cell phones and video games that have since effectively removed your children from any family interaction, not to mention ruined their school grades?

Are you afraid to buy them clothes, shoes or accessories they'll reject because your taste in such things isn't cool ... or whatever word the kids use these days. Forget about trying to buy them music. It doesn't work that way anymore.

Well, with exactly 14 shopping days left until Christmas, there's hope for giving the little darlings something that will not only brighten their holidays but expand their cluttered minds and impress teachers and classmates at school: It's the Kids Guide to President Trump Gift Bundle.

Not only does this package come with the untainted, "unbiased" truth about our 45th president, it's free! That's good news for families who are on the brink of bankruptcy thanks to the wayward, inflationary policies of Crooked Joe Biden (who, by the way, stole the 2020 election from our beloved President Trump).

The Trump Truth Bundle is actually three gifts in one. You'll receive 1. The Kids Guide to President Trump; 2. a streaming video and workbook entitled "Restoring Faith in America“; and 3. a special issue of the new Everbright Kids Magazine and Activity Book. I wonder if they'll ever offer a "Restoring Faith in America" video and workbook for those of us old enough to vote, but that's an issue for another day.

For $21.90, your kids can subscribe additionally to a new Kids Guide every three to four weeks along with a streaming video lesson and digital workbook. Throw in another $7.95 and you'll get the monthly edition of EverBright Kids.

Think of the hours of family fun this special gift will provide. Your holiday meals won't be spoiled by false, defamatory media accounts of President Trump's marital infidelities, name-calling, groping or possession of classified government documents. He was president, after all, so he could do whatever he wanted with those documents. That's what the law says, somewhere.

"The mainstream media have been no friend to President Trump, and they'll never admit that he did a great job running our country and making the changes that America needs," the Kids Guide website says. "But as future voters, our children and grandchildren deserve to know the truth about Donald Trump and his accomplishments in office!"

Unless you watch Fox News, you're probably reading this and thinking "There's no way in the world this is real." But it is real! Go ahead and punch it up: https://thekidsguide.com/president-trump/. It's there, and you too can see the excerpts that include a list of President Trump's accomplishments, profile information, even a drawing of President Trump being administered the Oath of Office by none other than Abraham Lincoln and George Washington (who were excellent presidents, but not as excellent as President Trump, who also has better hair).

The chief pitchman for the Trump indoctrination package is former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee, a Baptist minister and political commentator, who initially opposed Trump for the presidency in 2016 but eventually withdrew, endorsed Trump, and remains among his most loyal supporters. Huckabee's daughter, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, served as Trump's press secretary for almost two years before leaving on good terms and being elected governor of Arkansas four years later.

Trump and the senior "Huck" weren't always close buddies. During their rival candidacies for the Republican presidential nomination in 2016, Huckabee groused about the disproportionate volume of media coverage Trump received compared to him and other candidates. He called Trump "weak" and a "misogynist."

Since then, however, Huckabee has come around bigly. In addition to his ads promoting Medicare benefits and non-prescription sleep aids, he is now on a mission to tell people of all ages the real truth about Trump, lest they cast uninformed votes again and re-elect Sleepy Joe.

Truth be told, after an initial honeymoon period when the media did fawn all over Trump, no politician has ever undergone more negative scrutiny than Trump. With the exceptions of Fox News, the Wall Street Journal, New York Post and a few others, most media proudly and conspicuously wear their disdain for Trump on both sleeves.

Who killed Jimmy Hoffa? Trump did (that's why most unions don't support him). Whatever happened to D.B. Cooper after he extorted $200,000 and parachuted from an airborne 727 back in 1971? Trump hired him soon after as a valet at Mar-a-Lago. Who was the second gunman on the grassy knoll in Dallas when John F. Kennedy was assassinated there? It was Trump, who resented Kennedy's success with the ladies but has turned out to be a much better president. Kennedy, after all, blew the Bay of Pigs invasion very badly while Trump will end the war in Ukraine in 24 hours, but only if he's re-elected.

Here's the good news, though. With all the controversy over what kids are reportedly being taught in school these days — graphic sex education, gender identification, critical race theory, math reform and other weird stuff — we haven't heard anything yet about The Kids Guide to President Trump making its way into any of the public schools' curricula.

Just remember, though, that Trump is leading in most of the presidential polls less than a year before the 2024 election. He could actually return to the White House, and then recommend — or even order — that this valuable, informative guide become required reading for America's impressionable youth. Nah, he wouldn't go so far as to even try it ... would he?

Come to think of it, yeah, he probably would.

Bill Stanley, a former reporter at The Day, is a retired vice president of Lawrence + Memorial Hospital.