So, if you were like me and had a luxurious three hours to watch The Today Show almost in its entirety (because you were forced to sit in the Backus Hospital lab for a three-hour glucose test because you failed your one-hour test by like five points and God forbid someone actually look at the patient who clearly does not have gestational diabetes instead of just arbitrarily making everyone take this test and have their husband take the entire day off from work because who has three hours to sit in a stupid blood lab when they have a 19 month old?), you would have seen the story about the woman who wrote an essay about how she doesn't like her child. If you had better things to do with your time, or weren't like me and immediately looked up said essay--go ahead and read it. I'll wait.

OK--everybody all caught up?

I had an initial visceral response to this story, which was disgust. And unfortunately, reading the essay didn't really change that much. I have so many things to say about this that I hope I can organize my thoughts in a somewhat comprehensible manner.

This woman fundamentally dislikes her child. This woman had expectations of what her daughter would be before she was born and her daughter (from infancy) did not meet those expectations. She was "disappointed" and "repelled."

I truly wonder if there was undiagnosed post-partum depression that factored into this. But regardless, this woman did not like her child because she wasn't what she wanted and/or expected in a daughter. I am disgusted. When you take the step to bring a child into your family, you are signing up for whatever that child brings your way. As a parent, it is your job to love your child no matter who they are. Notice I said "love" and not "like". This was purposeful, because this mother doesn't mention at any point in her essay that she loves her child. Maybe I would be more forgiving if she said "I love my daughter, but I don't like her", but she didn't.

This mother had a feeling that something was wrong with her daughter, yet it seemed to me that she was too wrapped up in herself and her dislike of her daughter to be the advocate that her daughter clearly needed. Again, maybe she was, but that is not conveyed in her essay. I think it is fair to say you could consider her daughter's untreated medical condition as a disability for the first seven years of her life. So, you have a child with a disability who NEEDS YOU, but you are too concerned with her social interactions and how different she was and how you didn't like her to really be the parental advocate that she needed.

Yes, the diagnosis seemed to spark a turn around in her outlook towards her daughter. But the question still remains--Now you like your daughter because there was something wrong with her? It seems like an "I told you so", as in, "I told you something was wrong with her and that is why I didn't like her."

I think this mother needs to take a MUCH closer look at herself because it is certainly not your infant/toddler/preschooler/elementary schooler's fault that you couldn't get over your hang-ups of the media-perfectly portrayed mother-daughter relationship long enough to like and love your daughter for who she is.

While I have not yet had a moment/day where I do not like my son, I can understand that those times can and will happen. We have bad days, stressful days, I get it. What I can not comprehend is fundamentally disliking your child for who he or she is. It makes my brain hurt to even try to understand it.

I also cannot understand other moms who commend this mother for her feelings. This is not normal, this is not OK. Despite what she thinks, I do think that she has done damage to her child. Seven years of negativity, seven years of trying to change your child, seven years of making your child "more self-conscious and anxious" is going to catch up to you. I don't think she can get out of this one without some long-term repercussions.

In making the decision to have our two children, I have an unspoken contract with myself to love them both for who they are. Maybe this woman's first mistake was to have expectations before the child was born. I don't have that. I only hope for a healthy and happy child, and if not, I will be their advocates. It's simple to me, that is what I signed up for. I am sure the long road will lead to some disappointments but I will NEVER, EVER be disappointed in my children for who they are. Who your children are is the most beautiful part of bringing them into the world.

I am anxious to hear what you all think about this. Please take the time to log in and share your thoughts, I'm sure there will be some good discussion to be had!!