In a penny Chicago game, Cy the Cynic made a slam - and couldn't resist a little crowing.

"How many men does it take to change a light bulb?" sighed Wendy, my club's feminist. "One, to hold the bulb and let the world revolve around him."

Cy and Wendy soon became partners, and Wendy led the king of spades against South's ill-judged four hearts. South considered, then played low from dummy. When Cy discarded, Wendy led a low spade. Dummy played low again, and Cy ruffed and led a club. South won, drew trumps, led a spade to the jack and threw his club loser on the ace. He lost a diamond but made game.

THANKS

"Thanks, partner," Cy snarled. "You're as smart as the woman who went to see 'Closed for the Winter' at a drive-in movie and froze to death."

I was surprised that Wendy let South make four hearts. Wendy can send a woman to get the job done. If she leads the queen of spades at Trick Two, Cy will ruff dummy's ace. South's high spades are tangled up, and he loses two more tricks.

DAILY QUESTION

You hold: S K Q 9 8 7 4 H 7 D K 7 3 C Q 10 5. You open two spades, and your partner bids three hearts. The opponents pass. What do you say?

ANSWER: Most pairs agree that after a weak two-bid, a new-suit response is forcing. (So is a bid of 2NT, which pairs treat as some type of artificial inquiry.) Only a spade raise would be not forcing. Partner's hand is unknown, but you must bid. Since you have stoppers in both minor suits, try 3NT.