Much like the bowerbird, which ornaments its bower with a protective covering and colorful bits of decoration in the hopes of attracting a companion, Christine Kitchings has helped to make the town of Old Lyme a welcoming community for families and guests.

The thread and theme of home, of a creating a special haven where life is celebrated, weaves its way through all of Kitchings' activities — whether it's running The Bowerbird specialty gift shop or advocating for area children through her past work with local family services. Kitchings and husband Ken are also responsible for making a landmark piece of the community — the Old Lyme Inn on Lyme Street — vibrant once again.

Close friends, like Jeanne Sigel, development director of the Garde Arts Center in New London, described Kitchings as "a woman you must know." The two met more than 25 years ago and quickly bonded over their shared experiences.

"There was a connection, a commonality between her life and my life," Sigel said, which has continued to this day, whether they're sharing stories about children, grandchildren, or the challenges of business.

"Everything about Chris is embracive and inclusive," she said. "She's one of those people who makes your life better."

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Kitchings came to Connecticut at age 21, when Ken went to work for his family's business, the Coca-Cola Bottling Company in New London. She was a stay-at-home mom to their three children until her youngest was 2.

"I had known that Old Lyme needed a store like The Bowerbird. Way back, there was the Yankee Pedlar on Lyme Street," she said.

Kitchings nursed the idea of opening her own store, but spoke not a word about her plans.

"I didn't want to say anything to anybody because I wasn't able to do it. So I waited — I waited a lot of years. But you don't tell a soul because somebody else will do it!" she said.

"I knew the moment would come. Eventually, you find that moment to pull it off — if it's meant to be."

One afternoon she confided her idea to friend and mother of her son's best friend, Jennifer Torgersen. Together they decided to launch The Bowerbird, Home of Impulsive Necessities.TM The women ran it together for 24 years until last December, when Torgersen retired and moved out of the area.

Kitchings' work takes her on buying trips to New York twice a year, where she scouts for memorable and unusual products.

"I love the hunt for treasures. And then there's the thrill of the sale — seeing people purchase something and be really happy with it."

More than a go-to place for gifts or decor or entertaining accessories, Kitchings is proud of the way the shop has evolved into a community exchange — a ticket hub for school functions, fundraisers, garden tours and other nonprofit events. Over the years, The Bowerbird also has donated more than $60,000 to 24 state and local nonprofits through its gift-wrap program. The store's role in the community reflects Kitchings' personal commitment. She served on the Lymes Youth Service Bureau board of directors for 6 years and the Old Lyme Phoebe Griffin Noyes Library board for 6 years. While raising her own children, she also helped build the Old Lyme Children's Learning Center from the ground up, and served on its board for 19 years. Kitchings remembers the challenges of launching the facility and having to use whatever resources the organizers had at their disposal.

"I was able to obtain small chairs from a local school that were destined for the dump," she explained. "As a young non-profit we struggled financially to renovate and outfit a dilapidated home on Lyme Street."

Today the center, which is accredited by the National Association for the Education of Young Children, offers a variety of developmentally appropriate educational and enrichment programs for infants through school-age children. Before retiring from the board Kitchings set up a fund, administered by the Community Foundation, in the name of a fellow board member and key supporter of the center, Connie Pike, whom Kitchings described her "mentor in community involvement." The fund helps to maintain the physical building.

Old Lyme Selectman Skip Sibley, who served on the Youth Service Bureau board with both Chris and Ken in the late 1990s and early 2000s, lauded the couple's longtime efforts to improve the lives of the towns' youngest citizens.

"First and foremost, Chris has always been very focused on the betterment of youth, the betterment of children. Same with Ken. They're both wired similarly."

Sibley said he was always struck by Kitchings' equal command of both the compassionate aspect and the financial realities of running a family social service agency.

"She has a soft side for kids, but also a strong business side. She was our treasurer, and was very focused on making sure our accounting was just right. She's a very unusual combination that way, having both those talents."

Old Lyme First Selectwoman Bonnie Reemsnyder, who met Kitchings through the Bureau and has since become a close friend, echoed that sentiment.

"She's a businessperson, but her heart and soul is in the community. We're a small town and she advocates for everyone. And she's a very smart lady, I can't tell you the number of times I have called her for advice or to use a sounding board on a business or personal level," she said.

Sibley emphasized that Kitchings could always be counted on to follow through on her ideas.

"Chris wouldn't just talk, she was not an armchair personality," he said. "There's a difference between someone who just offers opinions – she would go out and physically do the work," whether it was running book fairs or upgrading school grounds.

Kitchings admitted that when she gets a thought in her head, she feels compelled to see where it goes — which may explain why she now finds herself overseeing an inn in addition to her store.

"I love creating business," she said. "I love making things happen."

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Assuming stewardship of the Old Lyme Inn came as an unexpected turn in the couple's lives, Kitchings said.

"Ken and I had been driving past, and not wholeheartedly really thinking about it at all, but kind of joking we'd say, 'Oh, we should buy the inn, it's getting darker,'" she said. "And it was, [the property] was getting darker and sadder."

A longtime friend of their youngest daughter was working in real estate; and when Kitchings — out of curiosity — asked if she knew what was happening with the place, she produced all the details.

"We looked at it, five days later made an offer and it was accepted. We were a bit in shock. Because honestly, we had not given this a lot of thought," she said. "I felt really, just pulled. Obviously we had a choice. But it didn't feel like that. We were really just pulled to this whole project."

While she doesn't consider herself an overtly competitive person, deep down inside, she said, "I think I am. And it expresses itself in business. I just saw a lot of possibilities here. It would be so much fun to do the rooms, and Ken's ultimate dream was to have the jazz club." (The Side Door Jazz Club, situated to the right on the restaurant level, opened to acclaim in May with a concert by world-renowned jazz pianist George Wein and the Newport All-Stars.)

The Kitchings' initial assessment was that the bulk of the work would be cosmetic.

"We thought, 'we'll do some repairs and be up by Memorial Day.'" Kitchings said. "Naively."

She was able to apply her nuanced eye to updating the guest rooms. Drawing on the artisans and suppliers featured at The Bowerbird, she restored the rooms to a clean, polished, light feel with a nod toward luxury – fine linens, new bath fixtures, perfectly filled pillows. Representatives of the inn's storied history are present as well, in period pieces of furniture, mirrors and paintings.

But there were many surprises and challenges in store. Floors needed refinishing, the electrical and heating systems needed replacing and the guest rooms needed renovations. It was tempting at times to second-guess their decision, Kitchings said.

"The older you get, you understand the value of taking things one step at a time. If you looked at the big picture, you'd never do it."

Running a successful business, Kitchings said, is like parenting. It challenges and changes you.

"It's like having children. You grow with it. You start with this cute little baby, and it's so much fun. And then it gets a little bigger and older and a little unruly," she said, and you change your approach and response.

"And then you reach a plateau. And when that happened at The Bowerbird, we expanded, from 500 to 2500 feet. And that brings you back to that new-child phase."

The store expanded again in 2000 and now sits on 5,000 square feet.

It's a continuous evolution, she said, "of trial and error and hope."

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Though the business is a partnership, Ken credits Chris with the inn's revival.

"Chris is a brilliant business person, and a great people person," he said. "And she's very imaginative — she takes things from zero and brings them to the top. She takes chances; she goes out and tries things. She's totally original."

After the sale of his family's business, Ken founded Kitchings Productions, which partners with the Garde and other nonprofits to bring diverse music to diverse audiences. For years he thought about operating his own music venue, and finally saw that opportunity to create a singular, cultural space when they bought the inn.

"When we got involved, so many logistics had to be done. Chris is great at that. My dream was the music part. I could have never done it without her."

Kitchings is excited about the future of the inn. She is proud of the skilled team they've assembled to handle the many different aspects of the venue — the overnight guests, the restaurant, the jazz club, special events such as weddings. As it all comes together, Kitchings expects to be able to ease back from the day-to-day operations.

She's looking forward to traveling and spending time with their three grown children, including a son and two grandchildren in California and a daughter in New York. Another daughter and grandson live close by.

Hawaii, Norway and South Africa top the list of places she'd like to see.

"Our kids have been more places than we have," she said. "They've literally been all over the world. I want to follow in their footsteps."

Her own childhood days were spent on a dairy farm in a college town — Oxford, Ohio — which she describes as "a real interesting twist." The youngest of four, she watched two worlds unfold side by side. "It was different than say, being a kid in Iowa with nothing but farms around," she explained. "I was a teenager when the Vietnam protests were taking place on college campuses. It was a real sort of dichotomy ... I had examples of both realistic and idealistic views of the world," she said.

Kitchings embarked on marriage and family at a relatively young age; becoming a mom for the first time at age 25.

She met her husband in college at the end of April their freshman year.

"Ken was one of the few people who had a car," she remembered, laughing. "So he was kind of the designated driver."

Kitchings had a date to see Herbie Hancock with one of Ken's friends and dorm-mates. She sat between the two at the concert, and she and Ken talked the whole evening.

"There was just this easy exchange we had. And a week later, I said to my mother, "Oh my God, I think I've met the person I'm going to marry," she said.

She describes her husband of 36 years, as "a ball of energy and ideas," and "a people person."

"People pair up based on their strengths, I think," she said.

Ken speaks of Chris with exuberance and pride.

"Where do I start?" he said. "She's been my guide. She's an entrepreneur, an innovator. She's been totally supportive in everything I've ever done. She's very direct and honest, very sure of herself and very consistent."

"She's the love of my life."