New London — Retired state Supreme Court Justice Angelo G. Santaniello, who died early Sunday at age 90, was remembered on Monday by his family and lifelong friends, including Associate U.S. Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas, as a man who gave more than he received.

In a phone interview from Washington on Monday, Thomas said Santaniello's death is a huge loss. He said he could have never repaid Santaniello, a fellow graduate of College of the Holy Cross, for helping him get a job at New Haven Legal Services in 1971. Thomas said he had just graduated from Holy Cross and was looking for a job while attending law school at Yale University. The president of Holy Cross called Santaniello, then a judge of Common Pleas, who arranged for Thomas to work at New Haven Legal Services.

"He didn't have to help me," Thomas said. "I didn't know the man. I never met him."

The men developed a lasting friendship during which Santaniello "never asked for anything," Thomas said. Santaniello administered the oath when Thomas was named chairman of the federal Equal Employment Opportunity Commission in 1982 and was "front and center" for every swearing in that followed, Thomas said, including the U.S. Supreme Court in 1991. Thomas spoke at a retirement testimonial at the Groton Motor Inn for Santaniello in 1994.

"There's some people in your mind who are larger than life," Thomas said. "There's that wonderful Latin phrase I remember, sine qua non. He was my sine qua non."

The phrase means "without which there is not," said Thomas, who explained that Santaniello had helped him at a crucial moment.

"That moment when you need a dollar is more important than when you need $100," Thomas said. "That drink of water when you don't have a drop. He was that fork in the road."

Santaniello had a remarkable legal career, ascending through all of the state's courts to become a senior associate justice of the state Supreme Court. He continued to work as a trial judge referee well into his 80s, having retired from the Supreme Court in 1994 after reaching the mandatory retirement age of 70. He played a defining role in the legal careers of many who grew up in his beloved New London.

"Ninety-eight percent of what I know about the law and being a lawyer and a judge was directly as a result of conversations I had with the justice," said Senior Superior Court Judge Robert A. Martin, a close family friend, during a telephone interview. "I would never be a judge if it wasn't for him."

"Angie," as he was known to all, loved to interact with young lawyers and made a point of calling them into his chambers, soon after they passed the bar, "for a conversation about how to become a loyal member of the profession," Martin said. Santaniello would follow up if there were any deviations from the standards he set, Martin said.

"He was the most exceptional human being I ever met," Martin said. "He was not about pomp and circumstance. He was all about service and devotion and loyalty - to his family, for sure; to his God, that was clear; but most of all to the people of the state and the people of New London."

Paul J. Narducci, a senior assistant state's attorney in New London, said Santaniello took him "under his wing" at a young age since his parents were friendly with the judge and his wife. Later, Narducci clerked for Santaniello at the state Supreme Court.

"Virtually all the major professional decisions I made I'd go to him for guidance," Narducci said.

Another lifelong family friend, Linda S. Mariani, has a successful private law practice in New London.

"He was my mentor, my inspiration," Mariani said. "I checked with him every step of my career before making any major decisions. Any advice he gave me turned out to be the right advice. He was an amazingly perceptive and caring individual. He just sort of radiated love and caring and made you feel like everything was going to be OK."

His chambers in the New London Judicial District Courthouse on Huntington Street, where he successfully fought for construction of an addition in the 1980s, was Santaniello's "happy place," according to his son, Gary Santaniello.

"He pulled every single lever, used every tool at his disposal to get that courthouse built in New London," the son said.

Santaniello and his first wife, Catherine, had adopted Gary Santaniello and his younger sister, Lisa Santaniello Dittman, as infants.

"Everyone knew this," the son said. "We were so proud of being adopted. Other friends I know adopted kids because of my father's experience."

Santaniello's first wife died of cancer in 1964. He married his wife Catherine, "Kay" Santaniello, and they completed their family with another daughter, Maria Santaniello Kewer.

Santaniello had suffered health problems in recent years, and he and his wife had moved to a house adjoining the Pawcatuck property of his daughter Lisa Dittman and her husband, William.

"We were honored to be able to take care of him," Lisa Dittman said Monday. "He was our go-to guy. He was always the voice of reason. He loved his family. He loved his kids, his grandchildren. When we couldn't make sense of things, he could always put things in perspective for us."

Maria Kewer said that although her father was a judge, he was never judgmental.

"He has friends from everywhere, not just the law," she said. "He just loved people."

Her father was always helping somebody, she said, remembering when the family took into their home a basketball player who wanted to attend Holy Cross.

"He went to Mitchell College for a year and lived in the house," she said.

Santaniello had a good sense of humor but was a strict taskmaster and a gifted mediator, according to attorney Dale P. Faulkner, who first appeared before Santaniello in 1964.

"He was a diagnostician," Faulkner said. "There may be a lot of fluff on one side of a case or both, but in reality there is an essence, a core to the dispute. He was able to get to that core very quickly and put the fluff aside and get down to brass tacks."

Santaniello's family will receive relatives and friends from 1 to 3 p.m. and 5 to 8 p.m. on Thursday at the Impellitteri-Malia Funeral Home, 84 Montauk Ave., New London. A Mass of Christian Burial will take place at 11 a.m. on Friday in St. Joseph Church, 17 Squire St., New London. Santaniello, who served in the U.S. Naval Reserve, will be buried at St. Mary Cemetery with military honors.

k.florin@theday.com

Twitter:@Kflorin