By the time this column is published, most of us will have celebrated Memorial Day. For many, the “celebration” often entails a day off from work and school, family cookouts, a day at the beach, a walk or a jog, round of golf and/or catching the Yankees, Red Sox or Mets on TV.

Some will march in or line the streets for the annual Memorial Day parades in various cities and towns throughout the country, but for the vast majority of people that is about as close as we will come to fully appreciating the true meaning of Memorial Day and those it is designed to honor.

How and when did Memorial Day originate? Well, as the saying goes, it’s complicated.

A number of different states — most of them in the south — have laid claim to initiating Memorial Day observances in the mid-19th century. Virginia, Georgia, Mississippi, South Carolina and Georgia all participated in what were then called Decoration Day activities around the Civil War era, tending to local cemeteries and decorating the graves of fallen soldiers. Pennsylvania was the only northern state that conducted its own similar activities around the same period.

Today, Memorial Day — formerly Decoration Day — is a federal holiday. It had originally been celebrated annually on May 30, dating back to its national origins in 1868. Since 1970, Memorial Day has been celebrated on the last Monday of May, the act of Congress being designed more for the convenience of a three-day weekend than honoring America’s war dead.

As a young man, I neither volunteered to serve in the military nor was I drafted, though I did register as required back in the Vietnam War era but was never called to duty.

When America’s involvement in Vietnam escalated in the 1960s, I didn’t pay much attention. In the naivete of my early teens, the war there seemed far off and not much more than a skirmish. That was until a Page 1 story in The Norwich Bulletin announced the death of a young Norwich man named Robert Louis Howard, a U.S. Army Sergeant. The sad news of Sgt. Howard’s death stunned me into recognizing the very personal nature of war and its powerful local impact.

The news story detailed Sgt. Howard’s past as a star athlete at Norwich Free Academy and was accompanied by an army portrait of the handsome young man who, it occurred to me, was someone’s son and someone’s father, and that this tragic story had been and would be repeated all over our country tens of thousands of times while the war raged on.

More than 58,000 other Americans from Norwich and other cities and towns nearby and throughout the U.S. made the ultimate sacrifice for their country during the Vietnam War. It was heartbreaking to think that Sgt. Howard’s tragic story had been and would be repeated that many times to the anguish of those left behind.

Others were more fortunate. Vincent A. Laudone, whose son, Dr. Vincent P. Laudone, was featured in this column two weeks ago, was likely the best-known war veteran from Norwich. Laudone was a U.S. Army captain who fought on the front lines at the height of World War II in Germany’s Black Forest, leading a company of 156 men who received presidential commendation for their heroism. Individually, Laudone’s honors include a Bronze Star, Purple Heart, Combat Infantry Badge and American Defense Ribbon. Instead of burying his past services, he dedicated himself to it for decades into his 80s as Parade Marshal in Norwich for dozens of Memorial Day and Veterans Day parades. It was important to him that those who didn’t return from America’s wars be remembered and honored.

It was the heroic service provided by Laudone and more than 16 million other American military personnel that helped win World War II as the U.S. fought on two fronts, in Europe against Nazi Germany and its Axis ally, Italy, and in the Pacific and Asia against the Japanese after their surprise attack on Pearl Harbor on Dec. 7, 1941.

In 2019, as part of its Memorial Day tribute, the PBS NewsHour researched how many Americans had sacrificed their lives in U.S. wars, dating back to the American Revolution. The solemn estimated total of Americans killed during all of its wars is nearly 1.2 million, with the most lives — 498,332 — lost during the Civil War and more than 405,000 more lost during World War II.

It is for that reason that all of us should have paused this past Memorial Day and should continue to take time to honor all of those who have died fighting for freedom, democracy and the American way of life. We don’t have to give up the traditional Memorial Day activities, but it would be fitting to remember our war heroes, to offer a prayer for them, and, perhaps, incorporate one or more of the Memorial Day recognition activities into our schedules during the annual holiday.

Go to a Memorial Day parade and salute those military veterans who are marching, visit a cemetery where others are buried, or attend a religious service if one is offered at your church or synagogue.

Without these heroes, we wouldn’t be able to enjoy those family cookouts, days at the beach, or baseball games and so much else that make our country great. If nothing else on Memorial Day, we should at least take a moment to say thank you.

Here’s to those who gave their lives in service to our country. We should always, always remember and honor them.

Bill Stanley, a former vice president at L+M Hospital, grew up in Norwich.