Tiny but mighty: New London Eats excels at clever comfort food

January 24, 2024 11:53 am • Last Updated: January 24, 2024 11:53 am

By Rick Koster
Day Arts/Features writer

r.koster@theday.com

The broccoli and cheese spud at New London Eats (Rick Koster)

A chili cheesedog at New London Eats (Rick Koster)

The serving counter at New London Eats (Rick Koster

The pulled pork and cheese potato at New London Eats (Rick Koster)

Oh, sure, folks blast into a New Year blathering cheerily to one another about how ready they are for a rigid exercise routine and a healthy diet and a calendar finely detailed with achievements-to-be.

Well, that’s just moronic. Nobody really think like that.

Y’see, people have it backwards. Why, at Stately Koster Manor, my wife Eileen and I regard the holiday season — herein defined for caloric purposes as Halloween to New Year’s Day — as a period of austere denial, drinking only water and eating only four bran flakes and a persimmon each day. On Thanksgiving and Christmas, we splurge on a roasted lump of watercress molded to look like a turkey and dry-rubbed with powdered vitamins for a taste-boost.

THEN, starting on January 2nd and rolling till early October, we go nuts! Nacho cheese smoothies! Buckets of butter with a few kernels of popcorn bobbing on the surface! French fries enchiladas covered in crumbled potato chips! Shot glasses of caramelized sugar!

In this spirit, one excellent way to celebrate your new 2024 routine is to explore the menu at New London Eats. It’s delicious but in no way healthy!

The tiny establishment is located in what used to be the Subway sandwich joint where Bank Street dead ends at Parade Plaza.

(You’ll find it because IT’S THE ONLY THING OPEN ON WHAT IS ARGUABLY THE MOST IMPORTANT CORNER IN THE CITY! Seriously: If you’re a tourist or a visitor getting off a train, you think, “Ah, a New England waterfront! Let’s see what’s happening!”

Well, the immediate impression is … not much. The visitor sees the closed Thames Landing Oyster House, and then a series of closed storefronts and dirty windows. It reminds me of the great Jason Isbell lyric that starts the song “Overseas.” “This used to be a ghost town but even the ghosts got out.”

ANYWAY …)

Concise and speedy

New London Eats is billed as a “quick service” spot and, other than one outdoor table in seasonal months, is strictly takeout or delivery, featuring a concise, moderately priced, cleverly focused array of mostly delicious comfort food. Professional nutritionists might say the menu revolves around core elements called the Fun Food Group: hot dogs, baked potatoes, mac and cheese and house-crafted pulled pork. And each of those is augmented with all sorts of conceptual spins.

Take the giant baked potatoes, for example. You can explore a Pulled Pork version ($9.95) with house-crafted meat and mac and cheese, butter, sour cream and chives. Wanting to focus on fewer flavors for more intensity, I opted to leave the sour cream and chives off — and the result was an overwhelming detonation of happiness. The smokey, tasty pork is finely shredded, and forkfuls are easily heaped so that the components are represented with each bite.

My vegetarian wife sampled a Broccoli and Cheddar Cheese spud ($8.95). Again, the over-sized potato, baked with a deft touch, featured chopped florets of fresh broccoli floating on a Great Lake of melted cheese.

Another option I’ll try soon will be the Po-Taco Baked Potato ($11.95), clustered with melted butter, taco-seasoned ground beef, diced bacon, cheese sauce, diced tomatoes, shredded cheese, sour cream and chives. Not sure how the bacon fits the Mexican theme, but already these people have earned my trust.

Splendid dogs

Hot dogs? Oh, yes. NLE features quarter-pound Angus franks. I heartily recommend the Chili Cheese Dog ($8.95). The chili has a nice spice-jolt and is ladled in just the right amount so as not to overpower the flavorful, snappy bite of the dog. The cheese is goopy and redolent of (probably petrochemical) cheese flavoring, and the bun is fresh and lightly toasted to provide a sturdy underpinning. Outstanding!

You can also get a plain dog and a bag of chips for $4, which is a bargain anywhere in our world, and which will not be confused with NLE’s Loaded Dog ($9.95), which is basically a chili cheese dog except they also heap on sauerkraut and bacon and comes with a coupon for a Life-Flite helicopter ride in case your cholesterol erupts like Vesuvius.

Now’s the time to mention New London Eats’ mac and cheese. It’s fine; nothing special but perfectly serviceable in that It’s not so much a main choice as it is a side ($5.95) and featured in combination with basically everything on the menu. In that spirit, I tried the Buffalo Mac and Cheese ($9.95). It’s served in a medium sized cylindrical carton that’s stuffed with the pasta/cheese mix, topped with toothsome strings of spicy chicken breast, then doused with Buffalo sauce. I liked the idea and the combo, but wished there’d been a higher chicken-to-mac ratio.

Maybe the best way to think of the glories of New London Eats is as a convenient spot to enjoy finely prepared ballpark food — without having to pay exorbitant sums for to watch the Red Sox NOT trot out any quality free agent signings.