If I'm working at a concert and folks see me jotting in a notebook, sometimes someone will ask if I'm reviewing the show. When I say yes, they invariably exclaim, "That's so cool that you get paid to do this!" — particularly if it's a Harry Styles ticket that costs $250 because who is Harry Styles again?

"Yes, it's pretty great," I always answer, though occasionally I cover events I'd rather NOT see (I'm talkin' to YOU, John Tesh, or YOU, Britney Spears).

Here's another thing that occasionally backfires at my job on a more personal level. What happens is, we'll often receive free "review copies" of books by authors coming through the region on signing tours, and now and again I'll run into a novel that flabbergasts me because, for years, with almost no success, I've written a succession of novels and sent off queries to agents only to go through the soul-chewing, another-shovel-of-dirt-on-the-coffin experience of relentless rejection. Most people in this situation would infer they suck and give it up but, but, frankly, I'm too stupid.

I'll tell you what, though. Here's the real back-cover description of the plot in a novel from a major publishing house that showed up in the mail. At first I thought it was a joke; turns out it became a New York Times bestseller.

"When Rose first met Charles, he was under a powerful enchantment that trapped him in the form of a white bear. To rescue him, Rose traveled to the land that lay east of the sun and west of the moon where she defeated the evil Troll Queen ..."

Huh?! White bear? Troll Queen?

Well, it occurs to me that maybe I should try this fantasy stuff. "By Rick Koster":

1. Wendy is being held prisoner by Pierre, a minotaur trapped in the body of Kentucky meth lab chemist. Wired nonstop, he never sleeps — meaning Wendy, who, with the right potion, could turn into a Golden Hawk and fly away, is trapped. But she catches the eye of Pierre's cousin, Dwight, who works parttime as a white bear. Then ... (Author's note: Not sure what happens yet.)

2. Jimmy, a foul wizard who lives in Oklahoma City, has cast a spell on the lovely Marguerite that makes her interested in nothing but collecting postcards of seafood canneries. But Franklin, the Duke of Saturn — the planet, not the car — loves Marguerite and vows to break Jimmy's spell. Unfortunately, he's run over and killed by a woman named Rose as she's traveling too fast on the highway that goes east of the moon.

3. Another woman named Rose loves another guy named Charles, who, as chance would have it, has also been turned into a white bear. She finds a magical curative and sprinkles it on Charles, who transforms in a burst of smoke and scarlet glitter. Sadly, he just transforms into a slightly smaller white bear.