"Did you hear about the self-help group for compulsive talkers?" a club player asked me. "It's called 'On-and-On Anon.' My partner needs to go."

My friend's partner, who never shuts up, was declarer at six spades. She took the ace of hearts, pondered and led a LOW club from dummy. East won and shifted to a trump, and declarer won in dummy and ruffed a club.

When both defenders followed, South took the ace of trumps. If the trumps had split, South would have drawn trumps and led a diamond to dummy to run the clubs, but the 5-1 break was fatal.

BAD LUCK

"My partner insisted that she found an inspired play," North said. "She's still talking about her bad luck."

Some people go through life with their horn stuck, but talk is cheap. South's play was imaginative but questionable. After South wins Trick One, she can take the top clubs and diamonds. She can then crossruff for seven more tricks, succeeding despite the bad trump break.

Yes, West should have led a trump.

DAILY QUESTION

You hold: S A Q J 10 9 H J 9 6 4 D A 8 6 C 3. Your partner opens one diamond, you bid one spade and he jumps to three diamonds. What do you say?

ANSWER: Slam is possible. A scientific option is to bid three hearts or rebid three spades, then support the diamonds. A practical alternative is to jump to six diamonds, giving the opening leader no help. If partner has 4, A 5 3, K Q J 10 7 5, A Q 4, he'll be a big favorite, especially if a heart isn't led.