Editor's note: Grace online welcomes this first column by Beverly Carr, a contributing writer and former school social worker now in private practice in Norwich. She assists clients in the areas of childhood anxiety, loss and bereavement, special education and learning issues, and social skills. If you have a question you want her to answer in a future column, send an email to bcarrlcsw@att.net. Look for "When Push Comes to Love" the first Monday of each month.

Schooooooool's out for summer! That phrase conjures up images of school buses rolling through the town with kids throwing their papers out of the windows. Beaches filled with people, ice cream cones piled high and kids with huge smiles on their faces. Summer — a carefree time of the year. Or is it?

In the beginning of June, I start talking with clients about their summer plans. If they have plans for the summer, those activities usually include, camp, family vacations or jobs for extra gas money. But some kids panic at the idea of spending a moment in summer camp or some other organized activity. Not because they are lazy and just want to sit home alone ... well maybe some want to just totally zone out all summer. But mostly I find that kids suffer from anxiety connected to the idea of summer camp. What? Anxiety? In the summer? This is like an oxymoron. When I was a kid, I could occupy myself with a bicycle for hours, by myself. I was just happy not to be in school.

Anxiety among children is the most prevalent issue that brings families into therapy in my practice. And I have found that anxiety can find its way into every facet of their lives. It isn't really surprising. I just attended my son's kindergarten orientation and was clearly informed (so clearly) that kindergarten is hardly as fun as it used to be and that we should not be surprised when our child does not have a regular recess. Their time is better spent reading and writing. I get it and in some ways I like it. But kids today feel pressures that we parents did not so we shouldn't really be surprised when that pressure turns to anxiety. Even about summer camp.

So how do you know when to push your kiddo beyond his/her comfort zone and strongly encourage them to spend their summer with others?

1) Start slow. Maybe they really aren't ready for camp. Instead, plan a lot of get-togethers with friends so that they are engaging socially, preferably outside.

2) If they are interested in camp, start with day camp. Don't dive into a week away as that may sour the camp experience forever if they feel rushed or overwhelmed.

3) If they do want to try overnight camp, stay local for the first year, just in case they call at 2 a.m. in tears, asking to be picked up.

For kids who are going away to camp over night for the first time, parents can contact the camp to see how much 'stuff' the kids are allowed to bring. As long as there is no limit be sure to pack a few extra comforts of home. Family pictures, favorite sleeping object or anything that can help them feel less home sick.

For the child who already loves camp, be careful not to go to the other extreme and overbook the summer. Kids who are overscheduled can feel conflicted over the numerous activities they have on their agendas which can make it all very un-fun.

A good balance of organized activities and family/downtime are important for the summer. After all, it is supposed to be the most carefree time of the year. It's not surprising that parents can experience some summer-related anxiety as well. (I need an ice cream cone, stat!)

For ideas on summer camps for your kids, as well as information on other programs and helpful summer safety tips, check out this link .

To lessen the parental anxiety related to the cost of camp, always ask about scholarships. People frown at this, thinking that they may not qualify, but organizations have scholarship money to give away, even for camp. Simply asking cannot hurt nor will it reflect poorly on you or your child.

Beverly Carr studied social work at the University of Connecticut and earned an Master in Social Work in 1999. Since then she's worked with children and families in southeastern Connecticut, as a school social worker and clinician. In 2008, she opened her own practice in Norwich. She and her husband recently adopted a son. When not at work and school, her family enjoys camping, gardening and watching movies.