Waterford — Twenty years ago, divorced and with her grown children having moved out, Priscilla "Beany" Peabody found herself alone in her New London house with five bedrooms.

She tried to keep busy but wanted to do more. So she began to serve as a foster parent.

Now, two decades later, Peabody has been a foster parent to countless boys and was one of three local foster families recognized by the Waterford Country School last month for their long service. 

"Beany is great as a foster parent," said Sarah Butterfield, a recuiter at the school's Therapeutic Foster Care department.

She commended Peabody for making a difference in the lives of her foster boys and agreeing to taking on a child even when it got hard. Butterfield said it's easy to lose foster parents, so the organization appreciates those such as Peabody who stay on for an extended period of time.

Peabody says her foster children have enriched her life.

"I think it gave my family, my daughter and my son, an appreciation for what they had," she said. "They had two parents ... they had steadiness."

Her road to becoming a foster parent began with serving as a mentor for struggling teens at the Waterford Country School.

That is how she started mentoring Kurt Erickson, her first foster child. As his mentor, she met with him once a week and became his confidante.

"We used to argue all the time," Peabody said. "It was like banter! And we both liked it because he was very very smart."

When there was no foster family for Erickson, Peabody investigated whether she could foster as a single parent.

She began taking courses and was certified as a foster parent. Then she enrolled in additional training at Waterford Country School for Therapeutic Foster Care. As a TFC parent she could be more involved in the life of foster children, who she said are typically "harder" cases. TFC parents have to take their children to therapy sessions, school meetings and the doctors whereas a regular foster parent doesn't have to.

She said that any kid who is ripped from their parents has emotional issues.

"To me, every kid is a therapeutic kid," she said.

Peabody said she liked being able to ask questions and be in her kid's "corner" whenever she needed to be. She then was Erickson's foster mother for three years.

While most foster parents are only certified to have one TFC child, Peabody was often allowed to care for two or three at a time.

Peabody has only fostered boys, saying she has always gravitated more toward them. 

"I like to be active. I played basketball with them, go fishing with them," she said.

In caring for her boys, Peabody said the hardest part was figuring what "gaps" each boy had and which ones were important for her to fill.

By "gaps," she meant that foster children often have to transition from one set of ideals or rules to another as they move from their families to foster parents. They then struggle to adjust to their new environment.

She said she never questioned the "little" things.

She once had a boy dye his hair purplish pink, and while some found it questionable, she was OK with it because she said she cared more about what her foster children were going through.

Peabody said she hesitated to adopt any of her foster children because she was already a grandmother when she started fostering.

Peabody is no longer taking in foster care children for prolonged stays but is on emergency call. After 20 years, she said, she wanted to focus more on herself and being there whenever a foster child needs a night or few nights away from their foster family. She said sometimes foster parents needed to leave town or foster children needed some space after a disagreement.

"I appreciated whenever someone would take my boys for two nights," said Peabody. "And then I would miss them."

Peabody still stays in touch with five of her boys whom she considers to be like her own children.

"She impacted my life by showing me the correct ways to be an adult and how to be a great parent," said Bryan Weaver, one of her boys. "She is still there for me to this day. She didn't just forget about us after we left."

j.vazquez@theday.com