Going into tonight's semi-finals of the men's NCAA basketball tournament, after 60-odd games so far, one thing is blatantly obvious and exceedingly important to discuss: the sports merchandise folks who provide uniforms — companies like Nike, Adidas, Reebok — are quite lazy when it comes to the long-sleeve warm-up T-shirts worn on the bench by the players who rarely get in any games.

At first glance, the conceptual design theme seems to be that each squadron has its own feisty war cry on the front of the warm-up tee. During timeouts, when the sweaty guys who actually play are grouped around the pulsing-vein-in-temple coacher, the bench-dudes stand on the perimeter and the viewing audience can see the slogans.

But hold on! Of the 68 teams in the tournament, the clever warm-up T-shirt copywriters could only come up with, what, six or eight different slogans? Villanova Never Stops! Shockers Play Angry! West Virginia Never Stops! Dayton Red Scare! Duke Never Stops! Wisconsin Cut the Net! UCLA Never Stops!

I'll tell you what stopped: the copywriters! There's a criminally disproportianate percentage of "Never Stops!" taglines compared to anything else. If I was in charge, each team would have a unique warm-up T-shirt catch-phrase cleverly appropriate to the school. The stinkier programs, then — you listening, West Virginia? — wouldn't have to embarrassingly share their Never Stops! motto with superior programs like Kentucky, who Never Stopped en route to a 39-point evisceration of West Virginia.

Anyway, here are a few warm-up T-shirt slogans Nike or Reebok can use next year since presumably they'll have fired the copywriters by then.

1."NOTRE DAME - Our Colors Are Blue and Gold Even Though Are Uniforms Are, Oddly, Green and Gold!"

2. "COASTAL CAROLINA - Chanticlears Never Give Up! WAIT! Should be spelled 'Chanticleer.' Sorry!"

3. "WYOMING - Cowboy Up!" (That wasn't hard, was it, Nike?)

4. "WHITTIER COLLEGE - We're Not in the Tournament Because Our Nickname Is The Poets. Seriously, Who's Intimidated by a Poet?"