She is gone, forever

This was not the plan, ever

Disbelief at first

That is not the worst

Denial coming next

Tells you in every text

Tears hiding inside

Trying to keep low tide

Feeling OK now, and then

Another wave hits the fan

Half of me is forever gone

The other half weighs a ton

Rollercoaster effect

Not what I would expect

Denial is back again –

Will it ever stop? When?

A new term has arrived:

Social distancing: sensory deprived.

The hurt is getting deeper

The way back up steeper

A kind word creates tears

While my smile disappears.

Trying not to show my pain

Alas! That is in vain…

A tear rolling down my cheek

Shows I am still weak.

Good moments happen at times

When gone: loneliness climbs

Nobody sees you then

And tears are back again.

Unexpectedly finding peers

Bringing forth even more tears.

And another wave, after wave,

Emotions cannot behave…

One of those rollercoaster things:

Several different mood swings:

Always in separate gears

Until again, loneliness appears.

Unreachable for me is she;

I love you, so very much,

“Always and Forever,

Me.”

Patricia Tellekamp

East Lyme

Poetry in a Pandemic offers local readers a chance to share their poetry written during or related to the ongoing coronavirus pandemic. To contribute, email times@theday.com.